My focus, during this changing season, is to reconnect with the element of Earth and to a lesser degree, Water. I want to become more balanced. I want my life force energy to flow. I want to reclaim some of the things that I used to connect with.
- Working with the Elemental Energies Sept. 2015
It's hard to believe it's been a year since I wrote those words and to be honest I'm not sure that I've accomplished those goals. The garden did do a little better this year. We have more tomatoes and one more raised bed and we are watering with more (though far from perfect) regularity.
On a personal level, I believe that my life actually is a bit more in balance - because I was able to identify the specific elemental blockages I was just becoming aware of where I wrote the article quoted above.
I started to see these blocks over the summer as our study circle was working with Ellen Dugan's wonderful book Natural Witchery and I was struggling through the disciplined elemental meditations required in my Fellowship of Isis training course.
The first block that I identified was Water which didn't really surprise me because emotional blockages (and the self doubt that so often results) are not at all uncommon.
But the second block was very unexpected.
Because I communicate so much here in the blog, on the radio show and in my daily life I thought I had an EXCESS of Air. It never really occurred to me, that all of that communication was really little more than blowback or that my true desire - to write a full-length non-fiction book - was blocked by my own (very airy) fear of failure. At least not until I sat down and did the inner work.
Once the problem was identified I came up with a strategy.
The first thing I did was to read less non-fiction (which was making me feel very inferior) and read a bit of fiction instead. The second thing I did was to return to the project I'd started earlier in the year - a very non-threatening non-fiction book called "Card Reading for One." I had posted the rough draft on the blog and decided to make the full version available as giveaway to anyone who joins my email list.
This month, I decided to put the radio show on hold so I could finish up that little ebook and I'm happy to say that it is almost done.
And the best part is that in between all of this I've been working on the manuscript, the one that wakes up the big fear of tackling a topic (spirit) that I'm not qualified to handle but is being written nonetheless. The blockage is still there but it has become permeable somehow to forward motion.
I think its days are numbered.