|Mary Magdalene, 1504 - Luca Signorelli|
As everyone who follows this blog knows, I am the quintessential seeker. My personal search for spiritual truth began in 2008 with the dream I have come to call The Spirit Dream and has continued over and under a myriad of byways, tributaries and road blocks.
But here I am. Still searching. And now, on a level, that search has ended. With Gnosticism. Which is really, incredibly perfect for someone who has been paddling from one experience of spirit to another for such a long time :)
This leg of the journey began with Mary Magdalene. Not with any one Mary Magdalene event really (though it did seem that way once or twice) but with a steady stream of lesser events. I kept stumbling over Mary Magdalene in conversation, on TV and in fiction. Like it or not, I saw there was a pattern.
Having loved Holy Blood, Holy Grail back in the day and always found the tragic events of 13th century Southern France compelling, I found it a relatively easy jump from Mary Magdalene to Gnosticism.
So I started learning about Gnosticism and found it very resonant with my experience and beliefs. But having been all over the spiritual spectrum for the last nine years I decided I should test it. So I asked for a sign.
The next day I went to the flea market with my son. I had 8 dollars which is less than I usually bring with me. I didn't expect it to be a good day because it was raining and there weren't that many people selling at all. As a matter of fact, we had to walk big distances through the puddles to the few vendors that had set up.
One of the first things I saw was one of those old plaster Blessed Mother statues. For some reason I can't really explain, I'd been wanting one of these for awhile but usually they're chipped or expensive or both. I thought this one was probably more than I had to spend but I asked the price anyway. It was $5 which was surprising. I bought it without trying to negotiate at all.
A little further on, I saw a cold cast bronze St. Brigid's cross that was made in Ireland. I asked the vendor how much it cost and he said a quarter. And then, when I couldn't find any change, he refused to take my dollar and told me I could have it for free - which almost never happens at the flea market. Before I left, the seller asked me what the cross was and seemed curious about St. Brigid was so I told him a bit about it. And I started to get a really good feeling about the day.
|My Flea Market Finds|
At the last stand a woman had a lovely crucifix / holy water font candelabra and I thought well I'm a on a roll with the religious stuff but she'll probably want at least $10 but she didn't. She wanted $3. So I got that too.
On the long wet ride home, I realized that I had bought three religious items representing three spiritual beings that I have sometimes felt connected with and that I got those three items for the exact amount of money that I had with me. It seemed meaningful to me that if the nice man who wanted to know about St. Brigid hadn't made me take the cross for free I wouldn't have had enough.
So I considered it sign.
Afterwards I thought about this change in direction a lot because, while I feel my guidance is always good, I often misread things and even I am getting tired of all the changes I have made.
I had the Spirit Dream nine years ago this summer. In a lot of ways I feel that dream changed my life. But it also started me on this long and winding quest to figure out just what it meant. I have made so many wrong turns but every time I decide to just give up something happens. And that day at the flea market, I believe that something happened.
I still have a long way to go but I believe that this is an important piece, maybe even the defining piece, of the puzzle.
Wish me luck.
*This post is mostly excerpted from an email I wrote to my dear friend Tara because when no one else asks, she does <3