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| Photo by Mark de Jong on Unsplash |
About This Episode:
I usually share my autism podcast, Autistic POV, to my Substack blog, instead of here—but this episode seemed perfect for the Mystic Review so I embedded it below.
It's funny, I always thought of my interest all things metaphysical as something that was only tangentially related to my autism diagnosis. Then, just recently, my perspective changed.
That is what the podcast is about mostly. I also talk about psychic ability and parapsychology (and this blog). I am going to be doing episodes on these topics so I will cross-post them here, for those of you who are interested.
Please note, that the idea that autistic people (especially nonverbal autistics) are unusually telepathic is controversial. To the best of my knowledge, it is yet to be adequately researched and, to be honest, I'm not sure it will ever be. I say more about why I think that in the podcast.
To me, the premise that individuals with autism my be unusually sensitive to psychic energies, just like they're sensitive to tons of other things, is worth exploring.
Additionally, and not incidentally, the lived experience of autistic individuals should be honored instead of marginalized. Personally, I find the Telepathy Tapes compelling and am always skeptical of the skeptics just on principle.
Please have a listen and let me know what you think!
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
- Autism and the God Connection by William Stillman
- The Telepathy Tapes Podcast (https://thetelepathytapes.com/)
- The Rhine Institute (https://www.rhineonline.org/what-is-parapsychology)
- Dr. Diane Hennacy/Powell (https://drdianehennacy.com/telepathy/)
- Psychology Today article on the Telepathy Tapes by Jeff Tarant PhD (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/choosing-your-meditation-style/202503/science-skepticism-and-the-telepathy-tapes)
- Dr. Hennacy/Powell's Response to Jonathan Jarry (https://thetelepathytapes.com/dr-powell-defense)
- Sharing Our Autism Story (https://www.autisticpov.com/e/sharing-our-autistic-story-ep-6/)
My autism podcast, Autistic POV, is available on most popular podcast apps. There is also a show page at AutisticPOV.com. For anyone who wants to listen here—there is now a player in the Home Page sidebar!
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You can check out Writing On The Spectrum at barbaragraver.substack.com. I share fiction and nonfiction book excerpts, the autism podcast and most new Mystic Review posts to that site. Substack is fun and has a growing autism community and some great writers, which I love, but the Mystic Review remains my first love <3
What Is Shared Death Experience?
I heard famed near-death researcher Dr. Ray Moody speak on NDEs and shared death experience in 2015. But I didn't fully understand what a shared death experience was until I read Glimpses of Eternity (affiliate link) earlier this week.
A shared death experience occurs when a person takes part in the spiritual experience of someone who is dying. This experience can take many different forms. And Glimpses of Eternity does a great job of showcasing that.
Accounts of Shared Death Experience
Dr. Moody didn't hear about shared death experience until after his ground-breaking book on near-death experience, Life After Life (affiliate link) was published in 1975. The shared death phenomena has been studied before however (as doctor Moody points out), going all the way back to the early days of the Society for Psychical Research.
The 19th century book Phantasms of the Living (affiliate link), written by two prominent members of the Society, includes multiple examples of what were once called deathbed visions. Several cases from Phantasms of the Living are included in Glimpses of Eternity.
Shared death experience has also been discussed by Melvin Morse. MD in his book Parting Visions (affiliate link).
Like most of Dr. Moody's books, Glimpses of Eternity, features a wealth of first-hand accounts. These accounts include full-fledged out of body NDE-type events, the observation of unusual phenomena around the dying, extraordinary dreams and more.
I enjoyed reading these reports and feel there is a lot that we can learn from them.
Elements of a Shared Death Experience
In Glimpses of Eternity. Dr Moody provides a list of features common to the shared death experience. He is also very clear in saying that shared death experience may include several or as few as one of these elements and that he is aware of no shared death experiences that includes them all.
While most shared death experience occur in a waking state, Dr. Moody cites some that have occurred in dreams, including the 1988 shared death experience described by Melvin Morse. MD in Parting Visions.
The fact that some shared death experiences occur in dreams was of special interest to me because I once had an unusual dream about someone who was near death and then recovered. This dream included some of the elements Dr. Moody associates with shared death experience:
- A change of geometry, where rooms either change shape or appear to open into another reality Dr. Moody describes as a "different and larger dimension."
- A mystical light that Dr. Moody considers to one of the most profound features of a near-death experience. This light is often described as having substance. According to Dr. Moody it is "no ordinary light" but one that may lead to mystical experience and spiritual transformation. This light may fill the room, be observed in the eyes of the dying or in the translucent glow of the entire body of the person near death.
- Music that has no physical source but can be heard by the dying and others present.
- Co-living a life review similar to the type reported in a classic NDE except in this case the dying and healthy observer share the experience.
- An out-of-body state which Dr. Moody describes as a "fairly common" element of a shared death experience. This element is cited in some of the most profound and NDE-like shared death reports.
- Encountering unworldly or "heavenly" realms which may include a border or barrier. As with many NDEs this border may be a bridge, river or other boundary.
- The appearance of a fine mist that may have a human shape and tendency to drift upward and disappear.
What Can Shared Death Experience Tell Us?
When I heard Dr. Moody speak, he was quite excited about shared death experience. This was because the shared death experience contradicts the main argument people make about NDEs. This argument--that an NDE is the product of a dying brain--cannot be applied to perfectly healthy people who share the experience of someone else's passing.
Some first-hand shared death experiences described in Glimpses of Eternity involve entire groups of (healthy) people. In these cases, members of the group perceived varied - though coherent - phenomena. One or two observers might perceive light or a vision of the departed, for example, while others only hear music or have a sense that something unusual is happening. This supports the idea that the shared death experience is telepathic in nature.
Sometimes shared death experiences are predictive. At other times they announce that someone has died in another location. The fact that certain elements repeat from experience to experience is compelling.
The part of Glimpses of Eternity (affiliate link) that impressed me most, however, was the idea that shared and near-death experience may have played a part in the formation of religious beliefs about the afterlife. Noted individuals like Egyptologist Cyril Aldred, NDE researcher Kenneth Ring, PhD and Dr. Moody himself have all made this suggestion. To me, this makes sense.
Instead of undermining religious belief, I think it supports it.
Please check back for future posts on dreams, mystical experience and more, including my upcoming video about my own experience!
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This post includes Amazon Affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of my links, I will get a small percentage of the sale, at no cost to you.
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| Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash |
Why Study Psi?
Parapsychologists use the Greek letter psi to represent what many of us think of as psychic abilities. The three main categories studies are psychic phenomena (telepathy, precognition, clairvoyance), psychokinesis or PK (the ability to move or influence the physical world through our mental processes) and what is called survival research.
Survival research focuses on survival after death. This includes apparitions of the departed, near death experience (NDE) and reincarnation research. While some skeptics refuse to see it, there is strong evidence both inside and outside the lab that psi phenomena is real.
Parapsychologists take the position that psi is a human ability. Questions such as why psi occurs and how it can be applied are important and can only be answered through research.
It’s possible that psi abilities are growing stronger in the population or possibly diminishing and this is important information as well.
It's known (through evidence based studies) that belief in psi increases psi abilities (or at least the ability to demonstrate psi). If continued research into psi helps convince people that psi is real, it's very possible that psi abilities/phenomena will increase as a result.
Some Everyday Psi Application
I personally believe that ESP (especially telepathy and possibly some forms of PK) can be a valuable life skill. Unfortunately, in our society too many people are taught to doubt or discount their abilities. Being able to sense when something is off or read a potentially dangerous individual, for example, can save someone’s life. I think this is especially true for women and people who live or work in dangerous areas or professions.
I personally feel that I have avoided dangerous situations and at least one accident because of psi. I hope that someday people will be encouraged to make use of psi abilities instead of ignore them.
Another helpful use of psi is in business or various professions where hunches can lead to unexpected success. There are many other uses, obviously, but these are some of the most common and often taken for granted. It's worth noting that some parapsychologists believe that we use psi all the time and just aren't consciously aware of it.
I believe this is true for a lot of people.
I have always had some awareness of psi. Since childhood I've had experiences of feeling what other people felt to the point that it was like sensing an almost palpable field. At other times I've found that I was able to guess things well above chance which has saved me on more than a few tests.
I've also had the experience of tuning in on what people really mean in a conversation so clearly that it felt as if there were a surface conversation and a subtext or what I used to think of as the conversation beneath the conversation.
I've also had other occasional more evidential psi experiences.
Psi and Belief
I have never been a hardcore skeptic because I always wanted the paranormal to be "real" but I was skeptical in the sense that I wanted evidence. Sometimes the evidence I received was pretty compelling (things I couldn't have known otherwise, signs, etc.). At the time, I felt these experiences validated my beliefs.
Now as I learn more about parapsychology I'm seeing that there could be other explanations (ex. signs could be PK or revealed information could be precognition). This is something I'm still processing, to be honest. I would still like to think that some of my experiences were supernatural but it is interesting to consider what it might mean if they're not.
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If you're interested in learning more about psi, paranormal investigation or other aspects of parapsychology, I strongly recommend the Rhine Education Center!
Cemeteries have long been one of my favorite places for recording EVPs and taking spirit photos. So, on most Memorial Day trips to the cemetery I take along a digital recorder to see if I can capture an EVP.
A Paranormal Memorial Day
Several Memorial Days ago, I visited the country cemetery where most of my family is buried. I went on my own so I planned on recording EVPs while I was there. But while I'd remembered the begonias I wanted to plant, I’d forgotten my digital recorder
So I decided to take pictures instead and see if I could capture an orb—but when I pulled out my fully charged phone, it abruptly shut down. I'd lost my previous phone, trying to take spirit photos, a year or two earlier. That current phone was the replacement. So I was annoyed that I'd even taken it out of the car.
My phone wouldn’t restart to I gave up on it, planted my begonias and paid my respect and left. When I was driving away, I sensed an energy as if there was a presence with me in the car. It wasn't a peaceful presence. Instead it felt jangly and hyper, almost giddy.
At this point in my life, I was more interested in spirit communication than I was paranormal investigation so I tried talking to the spirit. I told the spirit about what I was up to, asked for advice and waited for a response. No answer presented.
A few moments later, my phone turned back on. I plugged in the auxiliary cable and started to listen to the audio book I'd played on my way to the cemetery, but all I heard was static. In between the bursts of interference, I clearly heard the word 'path.'
Setting aside the idea of talking with—and taking advice from—spirits, this experience was interesting to me because it seemed to be an example of an audible (without recording equipment) EVP.
Back to the Cemetery
Since my phone was now working, I turned the car around and went back to the cemetery to try to photograph some orbs. A part of me was hoping to receive more information from the spirits as well.
By the time I got back to the cemetery, the spirits were no longer talking. So I took a few photos and left. On the way home, my audio book played clearly through the stereo speakers. My phone continued to function.
I studied with the Spiritualists for almost two years and had some interesting experiences but I’m no longer a fan of asking spirits for advice.
Paranormal investigation is another thing altogether. I have been interested in paranormal investigation every since I was a kid. I’m not sure if I’ll be recording EVPs this weekend of not but I may, if I go alone.
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Video Write Up
I’m not sure when the vision I called a "waking dream"* first started, but it came and went throughout my twenties and thirties. And it was always the same.
I would be fast asleep when an overwhelming fearfulness would shock me awake. When I opened my eyes, the dark shape was there, shapeless but malignant. Absolutely black against the lesser darkness of my room.
I would scramble backwards in bed, pressing myself up against the headboard as if I could somehow push myself through the wall and into the next room.
By then, I was completely awake. But the shape would remain, hovering ominously next to the ceiling. I would fumble for the lamp in a panic, but even after I got it on, the dark shape would persist for several agonizing moments before it dissolved slowly into the light.
My ex-husband never saw it. But other people did, including our upstairs tenant and a no-nonsense handyman who told me in all seriousness that our house was haunted. People in that house, and the one we would live in next, often felt like they were being watched, mechanical toys turned on on their own, electronics failed unexpectedly, and the clear sound of a woman laughing was heard by two individuals at the same time.
In both locations, my middle boy was subject to night terrors so extreme that he would wake up screaming. In the completely unretouched picture (above), you can see him, completely overshadowed by a hovering black shape.
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| Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash |
Lecture and Meeting with Dr. Ray Moody
I heard Dr. Ray Moody speak on the topic of near-death experience in 2014. Like many people in the audience, I had been influenced by Dr. Moody's first book, Life After Life, and considered him an authority on near-death experience (a phrase coined by Moody himself).
Written in 1975, Life After Life, is based on case studies of people who reported having had very similar, apparently spiritual experiences when very near death. The book became a runaway best-seller and near-death experience (or NDE) became a household word.
I found Dr. Moody to be a charming and articulate speaker. His presentation covered a range of NDE related topics which included history, philosophy and the nature of the NDE itself. In this post I will touch upon some of them.
According to Dr. Moody, the common elements of the NDE included the experience of a hyper-reality which is largely indescribable, vivid color, a warm and loving light, the presence of deceased loved ones, a tunnel or passage, and a panoramic life review. In some NDEs a being of great compassion conducts the review and tells the individual that they must return to their former life.
This was of special interest to me because I had experienced NDE like elements in my dreams. These included hyper-reality, ineffability, vivid color, beings of warmth and love, meetings with the departed and various passages (train tracks, board walks, halls). These were not NDEs obviously but I did receive information I hadn't known about before. In several such dreams in fact, I learned of the death of people I'd lost contact with through the dream.
While I was aware of some of the similatities between these dreams and NDE at the time, there was one connection I did not make then, but have only come to recently.
The Influence of Ancient Greece
Durung the presentation, Dr. Moody talked about the ancient Greeks, and their ideas about life after death. He was especially interested in the practice of necromancy in ancient Greece. Because of this interest he had visited the ruins of the oracle of the dead in Greece, at Ephyra. Ephyra was a place once thought to be the gateway to the underworld.
Upon returning to his home in Anniston Alabama, Dr. Moody set about constructing his own oracle of the dead (or necromanteion). In his book, Reunions, Moody shares his own experience with the dead in his necromanteion and gives instructions in how to construct your own.
When I asked Dr. Moody for book recommendations at the close of the lecture, he gave me the names of two books on necromancy, The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation and Greek and Roman Necromancy. Both of which I bought.
One thing that stood out to me about the lecture then was something Dr. Moody said about a life almost wholly devoted to the study of NDE . Everything I have done in life, he told us, is because of my interest in ancient Greece.
Not faith. Not science. Greece.
At the time, I was just begiining to learn about Greek culture. So, I loved the fact that Dr. Moody and I shared the same interest.
Years later, the fact that Dr. Moody had recommended books on Greek necromancy made me uneasy. I even recorded a podcast saying that I was suspicious of NDE, due in part to it's connection to necromancy.
But my views have charged. An NDE is not necromancy, or at least not necessarily, and I am interested in the phenomena.
My Changing Perspective
For me, the most significant information given in Dr. Moody's lecture was something that didn't seem especially meaningful at the time: Dr. Moody's (then) current research interest in shared NDEs.
A shared NDE is when one individual's near-death experience is psychically shared by a second person, oftentimes a friend or family member of the dying.
I had a dream experience that may have some elements in common with a shared NDE and this is definitely something I want to look into. I will be talking about this dream and what I learn in a future video or podcast.
Where I'm at Now
I have been writing about dreams, spirits and psychic phenomena for thirteen years now and my thinking has evolved. I no longer accept everything the way I did when I first started out but I don't discount things out of hand (as I did in the early days of my return to the Faith) either.
I'm now very interested in the possible connection between NDE and psychic dreams. My most important dreams have NDE-like elements. This is something I want to explore further. So I decided to begin taking courses at the Rhine Research Center in order to do that.
I have just started my first course but I plan to continue with the study of parapsychology and eventually get my certificate. The name of this course I'm taking now is Dreams and Altered States of Consciousness which is absolutely perfect. Just like God's providence.
As always. I will keep you posted!
Dr. Moody and Me
Dr. Ray Moody is a lovely, gracious man who has made an amazing contribution to our understanding of NDE and I am honored to have met him!
When I finished my upcoming book, The Spirit Dream, and turned it over to beta readers, I got some great feedback. The comments on NDE and psychic phenomena, in particular, convinced me to include an alternate viewpoint on those topics.
A few days later, Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin mentioned parapsychology and the Rhine Institute on his Mysterious World podcast. As it turns out, he actually taught a class on parapsychology at the Rhine. I like Jimmy Akin, so that got my attention. By the end of the day, I'd ordered a new book on parapsychology.
After reading that book, Parapsychology: The Controversial Science (affiliate link), I couldn't deny that there is statistically significant research on psychic phenomena, precognitive dreams and NDE. I realized that I had been too black and white in my thinking, both in my media and the The Spirit Dream. After some thought, I made the difficult decision to rewrite parts of the book and make some significant changes both here in the blog and in my media.
This isn’t a 180-degree turn. I still think demonic influence is real, and that discernment is important. I still want The Spirit Dream to be cautionary in the regard. But I also think that my time as an evangelical might have influenced me more than I initially thought.
In Parapsychology: The Controversial Science, the author talks Benedict XIV and his work as promotor fidei. He ends that section by saying that Catholics were the first parapsychologists because we didn’t just accept miracles at face value and say, this supports our position. We investigated them with rigor. And to me, that is one of the things that sets Catholicism apart. We value truth.
Now I have a new book called The Philosopher King: The Humanist Pope Benedict XIV (affiliate link), which came all the way from England and from the library of journalist, novelist and parapsychologist, Andrew Carr Mackenzie. And I can't wait to read it.
Lastly, if the scholarship stars align, I may be taking a course at the Rhine Institute about dreams and consciousness and possibly other parapsychology classes after that. My first major in school was experimental psychology, and I'm still interested in the science.
As always, I'll keep you updated!
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This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. If you buy something through on of my links, I'll get a small part of the sale, at no cost to you!
About My Grandmother
My paternal grandmother was a widow before I was born. And while I didn't realize it when I was a child, I don't think she had a lot of extra money. I guess that's why instead of visiting often or even calling on the phone she sent me things. Like letters and clippings and eventually a binder.
The binder came with only a couple pages but then she started sending me more pages to fill it. And so several times a year I'd receive a package of 2 or 3 or 4 photo album pages filled with brightly colored pictures.
Those pictures weren't anything special by ordinary standards. Most were simply cut from magazines and carefully arranged under the plastic film that covered each page in the album. But somehow those pages impressed me so much that I still remember the pictures. A pile of leaves raked up by group of kids. A little dog in a bright red coat. A school bus in the rain.
My grandmother came to visit us once or twice a year and when she did she slept in the spare room next to mine. And I remember how one Christmas Eve we sat together on the bed in that room while she told me the story of the nativity. I will never forget the chills that ran up and down my spine when she told me the story of nativity.
And I have long thought that the presence that was there with us in the room that night was angelic in nature.
My Grandmother's Gift
The next day, on Christmas, my grandmother gave me a little white Bible. I don't remember getting it and I suspect it didn't impress me as much as the other presents I received. But I did read it - off and on, all through my childhood.
I would like to say that I kept reading that Bible or that it was one of my prized possessions but that would not be accurate. What is accurate is that my life veered off the rails and I returned to the Bible my grandmother had infrequently. and that it spent most of the years between now and then in a succession of dresser drawers and boxes.
And yet, somehow, out of the things that mattered more and all things that have come and gone, that little Bible is one of the few things I've hung on to.
In 2012 I moved into a new (old) house. I was still deeply involved in New Age spirituality. But when I was unpacking I decided to put the Bible my grandmother gave me into my china cabinet alongside my tarot cards and crystals.
And, in 2017, when I began to make my way back to the Faith those things went the way of other mistakes, great and small, and the little white Bible stayed.
And there were in the same country shepherds watching, and keeping the night watches over their flock. And behold an angel of the Lord stood by them, and the brightness of God shone round about them; and they feared with a great fear. And the angel said to them: Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy... - St. Luke 2:8-10
Why I Left
I prayed a lot that week and on Saturday, the 22nd of May, 2017, I prayed more.
The next day I went to the flea market as I did most Sundays. I had forgotten to stop at the ATM on the way and had only eight dollars with me, which was much less than I usually brought. But I didn't really care. It was raining - a slow steady kind of rain that promised to continue all day - and I didn't expect there would be many vendors or much of anything to buy.
When we pulled into the parking lot I saw that I was right about the vendors. The large open area that was usually full of tables and tents was practically empty. The few sellers who had set up were spread out and the gravel lot was full of puddles. But we decided to put on our slickers and see what we could find.
One of the first things I spotted was a chalkware Blessed Mother. For some reason I couldn't really explain, I'd been wanting one of those big old Mary statues for some time. Over the course of the last two summers I'd kept an eye out. But all those I'd seen were chipped or expensive or both.
The one in front of me that day was almost two feet tall and had no significant damage. So I was surprised when the woman on the other side of the table said it was mine for five dollars. It wasn't really my style but I liked the blue of Mary's cloak and the graceful curve of her neck. I bought it without any negotiation at all.
A little further on, I saw a cold cast bronze St. Brigid's cross that had been made in Ireland. I asked the vendor the price and he said a quarter. And then, when I couldn't find any change, he refused my dollar and insisted I take the cross for free. I was happy that I was able to tell the a bit about St. Brigid and what she had done so long ago in Ireland. And I started to get a good feeling about the day.
The next thing I saw was a bright silver crucifix shining through the rain, When I got close I could see that it had a glass holy water font and a place on either side of the cross for candles. I thought that the seller would probably want at least ten dollars for such a nice item, but she didn't. She wanted three. So I got the crucifix too.
On the long damp ride home, I realized that I had bought three Christian items on an unlikely day and for a surprisingly good price. But what struck me most was that I had bought all three of them for the exact to the penny amount of money that I had with me.
So I considered it sign. And decided that I should give Christianity another shot.
I started with a church tour of several local churches. Afterwards I picked an evangelical church that was not a good fit and then a Pentecostal church I liked better. I didn't spend any real time thinking about the Catholic church I had visited in the early days of the church tour or the fact that each of the items I bought that day at the fleas market were Catholic in origin.
Until, almost three years later, just after my return from Israel.
It began with car problems. Getting to the new Protestant church I had joined was impossible. Finally, after several weeks, it occurred to me that there were two churches within a short walk of my house and that one was actually just a block and a half away.
So I walked down the street and went to Mass for the first time in what seemed like forever. And the next week I went back and I just kept on going.
As the weeks passed, I thought about the spiritual journey I'd made and the enormous circle that has brought me back to a place that is, and always was, just around the corner.
The items I bought that day at the flea market are gone and I know that there is some kind of lesson in that. And while I'm still not sure just what that is, I think that it might be that God doesn't want me to be the kind of Catholic I used to be. Or the kind of person I used to be.
I think that maybe he wants me to be something new.
Why I Returned to the Blog (2024 Update)
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| My rainy day flea market Mary |
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| Another flea market Mary that I have kind of sadly given away |
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| St. John's (our town's "Irish" church) complete with spires |
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| A beautiful picture taking on a truly perfect day. Even if I didn't see it then. Next time I will. |
So, because I wanted to be ready, it made sense to me to wake up today, at 4 AM, and make coffee and open up my journal. Not the new journal, I'd bought in honor of the new year, mind you. But the old the journal I'd begun in Fall of 2016 because in that journal there were 24 empty pages remaining.
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