And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” - Matthew 22:35-40 (ESV)
Reading about love is easy. But what about when loving other people is a challenge?
Taking Criticism
When I got this comment on my personal, but public, Facebook page I have to admit that I did not feel a whole lot of love.
I find this "let's give up all our knowledge and self awareness and throw our brains away to Jesus really sad, it is like you gave up and got brainwashed. How very sad for you and all the people who read your books and your tarot work especially. I am only saying what many on this page must be seriously thinking... No one deserves to throw away a life's work which has so beautifully helped people just because some born again brainwashed people believe so...
As I read this post, my heart took off a mile a minute, just the way it did in High School or Middle School or Grade School when I knew people were talking. And it seemed so unfair.
I knew that I wasn't brainwashed and that it was critical thinking NOT blind faith that had led me to Jesus. And I had never, ever said that any New Age person was evil. As a matter of fact, I had gone out of my way to say that most New Agers were sincere spiritual seekers who had got things wrong. As I had.
That reaction surprised me, but I set it aside and wrote a fair and reasonable reply. Some of the things she said in return were hurtful. But I was okay with that I didn't really know the poster, after all, except through Facebook. But I knew that in one regard she was right - other people were probably making some of the same assumptions she was.
Praying Anyway
And so, feeling in need of some support, I posted on my experience in a Christian support group I belong to. Most of the feedback I received was helpful. But one suggestion in particular stood out. It recommended a prayer: Lord Jesus, allow me to see them with Your eyes and love them with Your heart.
So that night prayed for S and made my best attempt to see her and love her in the same way that Jesus would. But I really wasn't able to. So I prayed to be able to see her, and others who have hurt me, through His eyes.
The next morning I woke up before my alarm and started praying for S again and then, for some reason, I started thinking about my father, who I have forgiven but never really felt true forgiveness for. I remember thinking about how I never talk about him to my kids - or anyone. Then I heard that still, small inner voice that comes to me now and then during prayer say, "he never talked about his father either."
I realized that I had never really thought of that before, and somehow laying there with the morning sun drifting in above the air-conditioned it seemed like a revelation.
Then, out of nowhere a powerful and very unusual feeling came over me.
My Experience of Spirit
What I felt over those next few minutes was so beautiful and so pure that there was an actual sensation to it - a feeling that feel somewhere between the rush of love you feel when a child is born and the tingle that comes at the end of a really touching movie. It was exquisite and beautiful and sad.
The feeling was so profoundly compassionate that my eyes filled, but at the same time so inexplicably blissful that I wanted to stay in that place forever. I have never, ever felt anything like it. But I believe that it was an answer to my prayer. And I believe that is how Jesus sees each and every one of us.
When the feeling finally faded it occurred to me that this was the experience that put everything else into perspective, all the way back to childhood. And what I am left with has changed me. Because I know that if God can feel compassion for members of my family, He can feel compassion for me.
And for all of us.
The Facebook Message
UPDATE 2024: Looking at this post over time, I feel that in some ways the original poster was right. I rebounded from the New Age and did get too caught up in evangelical judginess about what other people were doing and thinking.But the experience that came out of it was good. And probably more than I deserved. Which, when it comes to God, is always the case.
I liked all of the churches I had visited and it occurred to me I could visit them all off and on until I decided which one was the best fit for me.
And then my oldest son told me about a church that two of his friends attended. It was called Parker Hill. Checking out the website, I realized that it was a Bible based (read evangelical) operation.
A few months ago the idea of going to an evangelical church would have been scary and unappealing but I'd read some very evangelical books in the interim and I was beginning to realize that there was a lot about Bible based Christianity I just didn't know. So I read a bit more about Parker Hill.
I learned that Parker Hill is non-denominational church with three "campuses" in (and only in) our little corner of the world (Northeast PA).
The website was great and the vimeo videos were engaging and well-produced. There was even an app. I downloaded it that afternoon.While I was used to thinking of Bible based churches as conservative, Parker Hill had very progressive vibe.
The Wilkes-Barre / Plains campus of Parker was located in an office / entertainment complex about a 10 minute drive from my house, so the next Sunda, for Church Tour Week 4, I went to Parker Hill.
The space was modern but pleasant. There were comfortable chairs and multiple screens and a live band that played contemporary (and very good) Christian rock.
The space was modern but pleasant. There were comfortable chairs and multiple screens and a live band that played contemporary (and very good) Christian rock.
The pastor spoke to us from another campus via the miracle of media which might not have worked if the message he shared hadn't been so well thought out. The topic was Christmas and gift giving and John 3:16 (which I have been studying) and what it means to give and what it means to receive.
I had never thought of John 3:16 as a parallel to human giving. Now for the first time, I did.
As the service drew to close, I stood in the dark and listened to "10,000 Reasons" and felt something, that thing, that chemistry I'd been wanting to feel since Church Tour week one.
No decision made. No committment was offered. It was, I knew, just a beginning. But I couldn't help thinking that it was a good one.
No decision made. No committment was offered. It was, I knew, just a beginning. But I couldn't help thinking that it was a good one.
UPDATE 2024: I did join this but ultimately it was not a good fit. After that I moved to the Pentecostal Church and eventually made it back to my Catholic faith. The post that tells that story is here: The Long Way Home.
This church is older than my last two stops with an almost colonial feel. This week, the sun was finally appropriately shining and all of the stained glass windows were brimming with color.
Everyone
seemed happy to be there and happy to be with each other. There
weren't a lot of people but their good cheer filled the space.
At
least half a dozen of them said hello to me like they were really glad I
was there. One even gave me a gift. A small wooden cross that I know I
will keep. It struck me as potentially meaningful that I was baptized 60 years ago last August in a Presbyterian church two states away.
The
service was simple but meaningful. I was told that if I came back next
Sunday there would be communion. This may be it, I thought. But three churches just didn't feel like enough.
In summary, the 2nd Presbyterian Church of Pittston boasts a beautiful space and a warm and welcoming congregation. To me, this kind of welcome embodies the true spirit of Christianity which is at its heart a religion open and accessible to everyone.
I think that the 2nd Presbyterian Church would be a good choice for anyone looking for a heart centered Christian community. Members meet regularly for breakfasts and dinners and the church is active in outreach and ministry.
About the Presbyterian Church: Presbyterians trace their history to the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century. The Presbyterian heritage, and much of its theology, began with the Swiss/French theologian and lawyer John Calvin (1509–64), whose writings solidified much of the Reformed thinking that came before him. The Presbyterian church I attended has a website which is currently in progress so I can't give a lot of background on this particular congregation.
UPDATE 2024: I eventually made it back to my Catholic faith. The post that tells that story is here: The Long Way Home.
In summary, the 2nd Presbyterian Church of Pittston boasts a beautiful space and a warm and welcoming congregation. To me, this kind of welcome embodies the true spirit of Christianity which is at its heart a religion open and accessible to everyone.
I think that the 2nd Presbyterian Church would be a good choice for anyone looking for a heart centered Christian community. Members meet regularly for breakfasts and dinners and the church is active in outreach and ministry.
About the Presbyterian Church: Presbyterians trace their history to the Protestant Reformation in the 16th century. The Presbyterian heritage, and much of its theology, began with the Swiss/French theologian and lawyer John Calvin (1509–64), whose writings solidified much of the Reformed thinking that came before him. The Presbyterian church I attended has a website which is currently in progress so I can't give a lot of background on this particular congregation.
On the second week of the church tour I attended mass at St. John the Evangelist Roman Catholic Church. This church is only a a couple of blocks from my house in Pittston and I had been there before.
St. John's is another beautiful, beautiful church that is so Gothic revival you could almost believe you just stepped into 16th century France. The priest seemed approachable and articulate. And I knew all the words to the service.
I sat in the back with my coat on and kept to myself savoring the relative anonymity of the Catholic mass. I could come and go here virtually unnoticed I there I thought and I liked the idea of that. The mass was just how I remembered it, filled with beauty and majesty and the space was perfect. But I was not connecting.
I tried to conjure up my old feelings about the mass. I tried to reconnect with the magic and the spiritual power that was once as real to me as the paintings and the statues and the glass. I remembered how it felt but I just couldn't recapture it.
It was a little like seeing someone you used to be in love with and feeling the closeness and the distance in a single breath. Sometimes that distance can be closed - depending, I think, on just how bad the breakup was.
I tried to conjure up my old feelings about the mass. I tried to reconnect with the magic and the spiritual power that was once as real to me as the paintings and the statues and the glass. I remembered how it felt but I just couldn't recapture it.
It was a little like seeing someone you used to be in love with and feeling the closeness and the distance in a single breath. Sometimes that distance can be closed - depending, I think, on just how bad the breakup was.
My breakup with Catholcism was a tough one. And sitting there in church I remembered it. I remembered leaving St. Mary's of Czestochowa after midnight mass some 15 years ago knowing I would never go back. I remember how alone I felt and how let down.Things are different how but just how different remains to be seen. I do believe that I'll go back to St. John's and, when I do, I promise I'll keep an open mind. The church does after all, have a lot to recommend it.
In addition to the beautiful space and seemingly approachable pastor, St. John's has an active ministry which offers a free health clinic, food pantry, kid's clothing closet, toy and book corner and pediatric clinic.
Like St. Stephen's St. John's operates under the true spirit of Christian charity. I admire this very much.
But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. James 2:18About St. John's the Evangelist: St John's roots can be traced to the 1840s when Catholic priests began to visit homes in the Wyoming Valley to establish a community of the faithful. The parish of Saint John the Evangelist came into being through the hard work of Father John P. O’Shaughnessy. As the first priest of Saint John the Evangelist parish, he purchased a plot of land on William Street and began the process of fundraising for and ordering the construction of the parish’s first church in 1854. That same year during the construction of a physical center of worship, Bishop John Neuman of Philadelphia formally established Saint John the Evangelist Parish, providing the Catholic Church’s blessing that the church would be an official spiritual home for Catholics in Pittston.
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| St. John overlooking the Church parking lot |
With Christmas fast approaching I realized that I'm at a point in my spiritual journey where it makes sense to think about choosing a church.
So I decided a "Church Tour" was in order. My plan was to visit at least four local churches and possibly more. While I didn't consider it imperative that the church tour end in a commitment to any given church I certainly felt open to that possibility.
The church tour began last month but I decided that December would be a nice time to post on it.
So I decided a "Church Tour" was in order. My plan was to visit at least four local churches and possibly more. While I didn't consider it imperative that the church tour end in a commitment to any given church I certainly felt open to that possibility.
The church tour began last month but I decided that December would be a nice time to post on it.
The first church on my list was St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Wilkes-Barre, PA. I chose St. Stephen's for two reason. One, it is an absolutely beautiful building and I wanted to see the inside. Two, I've read a few very good books by Episcopalians recently (Elaine Pagels, N.T. Wright and Cynthia Bourgeault) and that made me curious about their religion.
, 
) and that made me curious about their religion.
It was a rainy overcast Sunday when I visited St. Stephen's but the church was absolutely gorgeous. There were big stained glass windows and high vaulted ceilings with angels carved into the rafters. Every architectural detail was magnificent and the history of the church as it stands now is worth sharing here.
According to St. Stephen's website, on December 25, 1896 cinders caught in a chimney after the Christmas Eve service ignited a fire that destroyed the previous church building. Only the new bell tower on Franklin Street and the foundation were spared.
Reverend Jones, the Rector at the time, vowed that the church would be rebuilt, without diverting any money from outreach or missionary ministries.
On Christmas Eve 1897, one year after the fire, the church I visited was opened for its very first service.
According to St. Stephen's website, on December 25, 1896 cinders caught in a chimney after the Christmas Eve service ignited a fire that destroyed the previous church building. Only the new bell tower on Franklin Street and the foundation were spared.
Reverend Jones, the Rector at the time, vowed that the church would be rebuilt, without diverting any money from outreach or missionary ministries.
On Christmas Eve 1897, one year after the fire, the church I visited was opened for its very first service.
I liked that the parishioners of St. Stephen's built this incredible building without taking any money away from those in need. I think it says a lot about who the congregation of St. Stephen's was then - and who they are now.
In the same spirit, St. Stephen's outreach programs remain impressive. The Church offers a clothes closet, dental clinic, medical clinic and food pantry for local residents. And believe me when I say that many people here are in desperate need of those kind of services.
The mission at St. Stephen's is "To Know Christ and Make Him Known in Word and Deed" and I think they are doing a wonderful job in fulfilling that mandate!
And, of course, the service was beautiful. In many ways it was similar to a Catholic mass, with which I am more familiar. It included a Eucharist of both wafer and wine and incense and a scripture based homily. The congregation at St. Stephen's was friendly and I thought that the priest seemed very approachable. I enjoyed his clear and down to earth sermon and wished I'd had more time to visit.
In the same spirit, St. Stephen's outreach programs remain impressive. The Church offers a clothes closet, dental clinic, medical clinic and food pantry for local residents. And believe me when I say that many people here are in desperate need of those kind of services.
The mission at St. Stephen's is "To Know Christ and Make Him Known in Word and Deed" and I think they are doing a wonderful job in fulfilling that mandate!
And, of course, the service was beautiful. In many ways it was similar to a Catholic mass, with which I am more familiar. It included a Eucharist of both wafer and wine and incense and a scripture based homily. The congregation at St. Stephen's was friendly and I thought that the priest seemed very approachable. I enjoyed his clear and down to earth sermon and wished I'd had more time to visit.
St. Stephen's offers multiple services including a Wednesday healing service. The church hosts the King’s College Summer Choir Training Course, sponsored by The Royal School of Church Music in America and offers a total of nine public choral services a week. The music on the Sunday I attended was lovely.
In summary, St. Stephen's is a great church for anyone who loves beauty and music and the spirit of Christian service and giving. I enjoyed the morning I spent there very much. I am very sure I will visit again!
I often say that my spiritual journey began with a dream but the truth is it began with a prayer. Or more correctly, a Bible verse said as a prayer.
The dream came after.
Making sense of that dream and the spiritual experiences that followed has taken time. I got it wrong a lot so it feels especially good to feel I'm finally getting it right.
Mary Magdalene is especially interesting to me because she was the first disciple to proclaim the Kingdom!
This video does a great job of explaining the 26,000 year global cycle known to our ancient ancestors and raises some very interesting questions!
Bought a big pile of old magazines at an estate sale with the original Life Magazine shot of the pic above (Life shot is a little different). She made a beautiful fortune teller, didn't she?
Interesting video on world cycles!
The video also talks about the binary sun theory, precession, the the zodiac and ancient history. I find it especially interesting that this is a concept found in multiple cultures. To me this is very supportive of the ideas presented in multiple ancient texts - that advanced beings from the sky shared knowledge with early humans!
I've watched this video before but wanted to share it here so that others could enjoy it as well!
What is your favorite tarot card? Not your top ten or top five, but your absolute favorite. And more importantly, what does this card say about you? As a reader? As a client? As a human being?
No hedging, either. There can only be one favorite of anything.
No hedging, either. There can only be one favorite of anything.
If you feel you can't make a choice, stop and think. Imagine yourself doing your own tarot reading or that somebody else is reading for you. Which card makes you smile? Always. Whenever you see it? Whatever the question?
For me, it's the Hermit. Yes, there is more than one tie for number two, but this is the card that most signifies who I am or who I would like to be. What my best possible life is about, has been about, really, for a very long time. Whenever I draw it, I know I'm on the right track.
For me, it's the Hermit. Yes, there is more than one tie for number two, but this is the card that most signifies who I am or who I would like to be. What my best possible life is about, has been about, really, for a very long time. Whenever I draw it, I know I'm on the right track.
The Hermit is an unusual card, one of only eight cards in the entire 78 card RWS deck that clearly shows a radiating light source. Of these eight, five (The Fool, Moon, Sun, Lovers and Ten of Cups) show rays of light radiating from a natural source. Two of the remaining three cards show light radiating from 1. A floating crown that seems clearly metaphysical (Temperance) and 2. A figure (The Hanged Man). Arguably, both of these are halos.
Only the Hermit displays light radiating from what is clearly a manmade light source: the Hermit's lantern. Except that what is inside the Hermit's lantern is not manmade - it is a star. The only visibly shining star in the entire deck.
Only the Hermit displays light radiating from what is clearly a manmade light source: the Hermit's lantern. Except that what is inside the Hermit's lantern is not manmade - it is a star. The only visibly shining star in the entire deck.
This six-pointed star is the Star of David, which is a topic onto itself. In my personal association, the star in the Hermit's lantern represents our own inner light. But the Hermit isn't only a card of light, it is a card of mystery as well. And like any good mystery, it poses a number of questions.
The Hermit stands on a mountain top, or so it appears, but we do not see the valley. It isn't clear whether he is lighting the way for others or seeking something below. And yet, his eyes are closed. We may wonder if he is looking within? Or simply reflecting on what lies before him?
We can't answer these questions. But we can make some assumptions.
The Hermit holds the light of spirit high for all to see. He is solitary but at the same time he is a beacon for others. He has traveled far, climbed the icy mountain alone, and that climb has been arduous. Caught in the stillness of the card, he stands, rests his head upon his staff, and gathers his strength.
We can't answer these questions. But we can make some assumptions.
The Hermit holds the light of spirit high for all to see. He is solitary but at the same time he is a beacon for others. He has traveled far, climbed the icy mountain alone, and that climb has been arduous. Caught in the stillness of the card, he stands, rests his head upon his staff, and gathers his strength.
But this is only a snapshot in time. Something comes after.
The mountains are endless, and the journey is ongoing.
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| A beautiful picture taking on a truly perfect day. Even if I didn't see it then. Next time I will. |
Today is Sunday, January 1st, 2017.
Today is number one of seven.
Today is number one of twelve.
Today is number one of thirty-one.
Today is the first day of 2017 and 2017 is 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10. And numerologically 10 is 1 + 0 = 1. Making today number one of the next ten years.
And because I was born in 1957, today is the first day of the first year in the sixth decade of my life.
So, because I wanted to be ready, it made sense to me to wake up today, at 4 AM, and make coffee and open up my journal. Not the new journal, I'd bought in honor of the new year, mind you. But the old the journal I'd begun in Fall of 2016 because in that journal there were 24 empty pages remaining.
So, because I wanted to be ready, it made sense to me to wake up today, at 4 AM, and make coffee and open up my journal. Not the new journal, I'd bought in honor of the new year, mind you. But the old the journal I'd begun in Fall of 2016 because in that journal there were 24 empty pages remaining.
The new journal was right there next to my chair and the pull of starting fresh was strong. My first inclination was to close the old journal and turn my back on the old year and the season past and make a new start. But those 24 empty pages called to me. And I realized that it wasn't about wasting paper. It was about a space that had to be acknowledged.
That space between the old and the new is always the same for me and, whenever I encounter it, I'm reminded of a trapeze artist, letting go of the old bar and hurtling through thin air in the direction of the new one. I think of how everyone always has to let go of whatever it is we've been holding onto and trust - even though there is no hard guarantee that the next thing will be there when we need it.
Leading up to that space I worry about what will happen and think long and hard about how it can all go wrong. But once I'm in it, the uncertainty and fear fade. All at once I remember how vitally important that space is. In and of itself.
It is not the space of letting go, although in those 24 no longer empty journal pages I did just that. And it isn't the space of moving forward, either, even though towards the end of those 24 pages I did that too.
Instead, it is a space that is moving and still and empty and full all at the same time. It is a space of courage and of faith. A space of transition. A space where anything is possible and everything is in is motion.
So I encourage everyone to take stock of what was, by most accounts, a very trying year. I encourage everyone to sort it out and let it go and make that jump. I encourage everyone to embrace the space between what was and what will be. Because that space is freedom.
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