I am less active here than I once was, but I still post monthly and have no intention of stopping.

Right now I'm working on a dream memoir based on the Spirit Dream and the spiritual journey that followed—and where I ended up.

I chronicled that journey here—and even when I faltered or got things wrong, the blog and those who read it were there for me. I talk about The Mystic Review a lot in the memoir and I don't think I can overstate how important writing here has been for me. 

The Spirit Dream saved me after personal tragedy, yes, but when I hit a wall two years later, it was the blog that helped me find my way through. And that happened repeatedly over the last decade and a half.

Learning is its own reward, but not always and knowing that people were interested in my posts meant more than I can say. So I want to thank everyone who has followed and supported me through all the ups and downs.

And I want to wish a happy belated birthday to my old friend, The Mystic Review!

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You can read the intro to the memoir here: The Story of a Dream

It is often difficult to see how a single dream compensates the consciousness of an individual. If there is a dream series available, the meaning of the compensation often becomes more evident. — Murray Stein, Four Pillars of Jungian Analysis

I had the first dream in what I’ve been calling the Dream Gate series last year and the most recent a few weeks ago.

The dreams so far are as follows:

1. The Dream Gate: Technically two dreams divided by short period of wakefulness but effectively a single dream.

2. The Dream Wall: The longest dream in the series which made the theme of the series (the interpretation of dreams and my Jungian studies) clear to me.

3. The Dream Vault: The most recent dream which can be found below.

In this post I’ll share some of what I’ve learned about how a dream series works, the Dream Vault dream, Jung’s theory of dream compensation and how all of this comes together for me.

About Dream Series

One of the primary functions of dreams, per Jungian thought, is to compensate for (or correct) the many erroneous attitudes of our waking life. This is Jung’s theory of compensation in a nutshell. (For more on this topic, please see my post On the Nature of Dreams.)

While there’s a lot you can say about the dream series idea, the really fascinating thing to me is how a series can help us better understand compensation—and where our waking attitudes may be out of balance. For me, this is a relatively new way of looking at dreams.

Before I was introduced to Jung, I liked to imagine that dreams, were meant to encourage me. Dream series, in particular, seemed to be showing how I was progressing in life. According to the theory of compensation, however, our dreams usually aren’t telling us what we’re doing well. They’re telling us what we can do better.

Not as flattering, obviously, but a lot more actionable.

Unless we’re stuck, the guidance we get from our dreams changes over time—and this is true even within the boundaries of a given dream series. While each dream in a series is a variation on a theme, the specific message will, and should, change from dream to dream. In my experience, these messages usually point to something I need to address.

When I first started working with the Dream Gate series, I was looking at the individual dreams as indicators of personal spiritual progress. Now I see them in a more actionable (and down-to-earth) way.

The Dream Vault Dream

What follows is the most recent dream in the Dream Gate series. This dream was short but powerful. Audio is rare in my dreams but there was sound in this one.

I’m walking through a long underground chamber or passageway As I walk, heavy battleship gray iron doors crash open one after another to let me pass. The mechanism is automatic and the doors are are loud when they open and I know that they are signaled somehow by me. They remind me of doors on a vault. My impression is that the passage is rectangular or square (not arched) with heavy girders overhead. The space has an industrial feel. It isn’t bright but I think lights come on as the doors open for me. I am moving fast and feel a strong sense of purpose. There is an energy to the dream and a feeling of determination or even command.

This is the only dream in the series that occurred underground. It is similar to dream one because the dream doesn’t reveal what’s on the other side of the door (or doors). It is similar to dream two because I am being proactive, In all three dreams, vital information is withheld.

The Series as a Whole

In this present study of alchemy I have taken a particular example of symbol-formation, extending in all over some seventeen centuries, and have subjected it to intensive examination, linking it at the same time with an actual series of dreams recorded by a modern European not under my direct supervision and having no knowledge of what the symbols appearing in the dreams might mean. — Carl Jung Psychology and Alchemy CW Vol. 12

I like what Jung says about tracing particular symbols through a series of dreams. I haven’t read Psychology and Alchemy so I can’t speak to how he did that. But I think it’s okay to make connections between symbols that aren’t absolutely identical.

Dreams are fluid, in my experience, and symbolic elements are rarely fixed. In the Dream Gate series, the first (the Dream Gate dream) had a wall and door/gate. The second dream (the Dream Wall) had only a wall. The last (the Dream Vault dream) had a series of doors. To me, these elements are all closely related.

The common symbolism revolved around boundaries, passageways and a strong sense of the unknown. While these elements presented in different ways, I believe they’re connected.

Dream One (the Dream Gate)

I didn’t know what was on the other side of the door in dream one but the volkknot symbol over the old arched doorframe supplied context. I knew the dream was talking about what I used to call “the other side” but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make that kind of connection or enter into that reality again or how I could reconcile it with Catholicism. Sometime later, a synchronicity provided additional insight.

To me now, the land of the dead and the other side and the collective unconscious and its archetypes are one in the same. And I am not afraid of it.

Back then, however, I was wary.

Dream Two (the Dream Wall)

In dream two, I crossed a wall to speak with the Interpreter of Dreams. This gave me the general theme of the dream. To me, the old man (the Interpreter of Dreams) and the scroll he was holding represented dream interpretation and Jungian psychology—both of which I was then actively studying.

I still had reservations, however, about what I was learning. Not long after the Dream Wall dream a second synchronicity helped lay those reservations to rest.

I liked the imagery in the Dream Wall dream and was happy to have found my way to the wise old man.

This, I thought in the aftermath of the dream, shows progress—but I hadn’t read Jung’s thoughts on compensation then. If I had I would have realized that while I had overcome my prejudice I still had a LOT to learn.

I realize this now. The Interpreter of Dreams did not show me his mysterious scroll or provide an interpretation of the dream I’d brought him. I was in the right place, but I wasn’t getting it.

And, in some ways, this is still true.

Dream Three (the Dream Vault)

The Dream Vault dream is a great example of Jung’s theory of compensation at work.

The person striding through the underground vault in this dream isn’t me. The heavy iron doors of the underworld don’t crash open at my command. There is no actual power or mastery. This is not where I’m at or even where I’m ending up.

Because that isn’t how compensation works.

Dreams aren’t a pat on the back. They're a challenge.

And I understand why I’m being challenged. I have NOT been focused. I have NOT been studying. I have NOT been working with my dreams. And I need to do better. Not crashing through the gates of the underworld better, necessarily, just an hour or two here and there.

Because knowledge IS power and if you want it you have to work for it.

Next Steps

There have been a lot of kind of cool symbols in the Dream Gate series so far. Medieval gates, dark symbols, mysterious scrolls, walls—both broken and intact, underground passageways, wise old men, a journey through a winter wood looking for answers.

I know that each of these symbols are important or they wouldn’t be in the dreams. I know I need to make time to reflect and look individual elements up in my symbol books and journal about Persephone and the Descent of Inanna.

I love doing that and I love that Carl Jung thought myth and symbol were necessary tools in the toolbox of dream interpretation. But I don't actually spend a lot of time filling that toolbox—or havent been—and I haven't been spending a lot of time with my dreams or engaging in active imagination or reading Jung either.

Which makes me think about my prorities and the general structure of my day-to-day life. And it occurs to me that the scrolls that need to be read and the doors that need to be opened aren't actually in the dream. They're here.s.

• If you want to know more about the other dreams in the series, please click on the appropriate links: 1. The Dream Gate 2.The Dream Wall 
• I wrote a post on Jung’s theory of compensation in dreams which you can read here. I’ll also be writing more on this topic. So if you find it interesting, please consider subscribing to my Writing After Dark newsletter (below) or following this blog! 

Dream School Update

I started Jungian Dream School last fall in response to a wonderful synchronicity involving Jungian analyst Murray Stein and the This Jungian Life podcast. 

As you may already know, dreams have been an area of interest to me ever since I had the dream I call the Spirit Dream in 2007 which changed, or possibly saved, my life.

I’ve recently written my Spirit Dream / autism memoir up to the point where what I learned in those first weeks of Dream School becomes relevant. So I went back to module one and worked through it again.

In doing this I reread On the Nature of Dreams more carefully than I had done the first time around. And there was so much there, I wanted to share a bit of what I learned. I hope I will do it justice and not get too much wrong!

How Dreams Bring Balance

In On the Nature of Dreams Jung points out our dreams are rarely in accord with the sensibilities of our conscious mind. To Jung, this means that the unconscious (which he calls "the matrix of dreams") must have an independent function. In other words, the unconscious functions separately from our conscious self (which contains the ego). 

In creating dreams, the unconscious may strongly oppose our waking paradigm. This is intentional.

The gap between our everyday attitude and the dream may be slight or great (or very occasionally absent). This relates to Jung's concept of compensation. According to Jung, the dream deviation is an attempt to correct (or compensate for) the errors of our conscious self.

According to Jung there are three compensatory possibilities:

1. If the conscious attitude is one-sided the dream takes the opposite position.
2. If the conscious is more in the middle, the dream may deviate a little from our waking attitude.
3. If the conscious attitude is correct the dream will coincide (though not mirror, because the conscious always maintains what Jung calls its autonomy).

The purpose of compensation is to restore wholeness or balance. This correction usually has something to do with what is going on with us at that particular point in time. Some dreams, particularly long series of dreams, are more far-reaching (this is addressed in Psychology and Alchemy which I will have not read).

It's important to note, that compensation is not black and white. Dreams have their own kind of logic. Their relationship to our waking life is nuanced, complex and expansive. Understanding a dream is always a process.

Who Can Interpret Dreams

According Jung you don't have to be an psychologist (or any sort of professional) to interpret dream. Which isn't to say that anyone and everyone can do Jungian dream interpretation. The characteristics required to "diagnose dream compensation" according to Jung are: intelligence, some knowledge of psychology and life experience.

But these alone are not enough.

Jung is adamant in saying that an understanding of mythology, folklore, indigenous cultures and comparative religion is also required.

I loved hearing that. While I have learned through Dream School that we must always consider our personal association first when approaching a dream, I find mythological themes to be very important in dreams. Right or wrong, whenever it is there I apply it.

On the Nature of Dreams also contains a warning for people who decide that the dream "knows best” or readily believe that dreams predict the future. According to Jung, those who take this approach may find that their dreams become trivial over time. This is because these individuals are over rating the subconscious function and under valuing the conscious.

The conscious, per Jung, must fulfil its own appointed duties. It has developed for a reason and has an important role in our lives. The dream, according to On the Nature of Dreams, may fill in the blanks, correct our attitude or move us forward after our best attempts have failed. This is not to say that they never provide real life guidance, only that most of what they have to tell us relates to our internal states.

Dreams tend to be mythic, symbolic and poetic. Because of this they offer much more than ordinary, everyday advice. While some dreams are precognitive (as Jung was well aware) most are not, and it’s important to properly understand the dreams role in our life.

Dream interpretation can be challenging. While a lot has been written on it by Jung and his contemporaries very little of that is what I would consider an easy read. The book Dream Wise written by three of my Dream School instructors makes Jung's ideas accessible—as do the writings of Jungian analysist Murray Stein. 

Stein’s short book Four Pillars of Jungian Analysis talks about dream interpretation in concise and understandable way. 

Big Dreams

Big dreams are different than other dreams because they contain symbolic images found in the collective unconscious of the human race. These images are reflections of invisible energetic forms Jung calls archetypes.

Archetypes have existed at all times in human history and in all places. To Jung, this proves that there is both a personal unconscious and a collective or universal unconscious accessible to all. Archetypal images include thing like dragons, initiations, fairy tale elements or alchemical substances. For me personally, they tend to present as specific deities, symbols and themes.

Big dreams come from the collective unconscious at critical stages of our lives. They may hard to interpret, Jung says, because of the lack of personal meaning. Often, we need to go back to the mythology in order to understand them.

This is why a knowledge of myth and folklore is so important. If we don't know these stories we may fail to recognize important elements and messages in our dreams.

We can identify big dreams by their mythic themes and "poetic force and beauty." Often these dreams haunt us, becoming the "richest jewel in the treasure-house of psychic experience." (CGJ) This, in my experience, could not be more accurate.

The Stages of Dreams

A key point in On the Nature of Dreams is a the idea examining a dream through its structure.

Jung provides four stages that describe the structure of most dreams.

1. Exposition: The statement of place, introduction of key dream characters and the initial situation of the dreamer.
2. Development: The plot of the dream as it becomes more complicated and tension develops.
3. Culmination or Peripeteia (a Greek word for an unexpected reversal or point where the situation changes dramatically): The point where something decisive happens or something changes completely.
4. Result or Solution: While not every dream will have a fourth stage Jung looks at this last stage in relation to the solution sought by the dreamer.

I like to look at the structure of the dream and question each stage keeping in mind that every aspect of a dream is there for reason. 

There is a lot to be learned from the structure of the dream. The setting, key characters, action and turning point are all important. When I look at my own dreams, I always consider the result or solution. Sometimes this fourth stage is little more than an idea or impression which may be easy to overlook—but it is still important.

Context and Associations

It is also crucially important to do what Jung calls "taking up the context" by exploring personal associations for each dream element.

Because dreams are closely tied to our lived experience, it's also helpful to think about our current situation as we try to understand how our unconscious might be trying to restore balance in the here and now.

Most dreams are not big dreams. But every dream we have is important in terms of our day to day life. Many apparently "lesser" dreams can be mapped as part of a dream series that may be factor into our individuation process (a Jungian term that describes the process of becoming the person we are meant be).

Dreams offer an immediate and crucial course correction as we journey from day to day. They do not (in the vast majority of cases) tell us what to do. Instead they help us orient ourselves to a life that aligns with our greater purpose.

I'll be writing more about what I'm learning about dreams and Jung in future posts!

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I've had a few dreams I consider big and one that figures prominently in my memoir and in my life as a whole. You can read it here: The Spirit Dream. You can read about my Murray Stein experience in my A Creation in Time post. You can learn more about Jungian Dream School via the This Jungian Life website. 

The Context

The Dream

I am attending some kind of festival at a big open-air arena. It is in the country in PA (possibly Lehigh county). There is a country vibe and I think the music is country or folk music. I'm aware of local people who are related to (sons of) the organizer standing on a hill overlooking the arena. I talk to them but can't remember what’s said. I sense that they and their mother are not good people and there is a vague sense of danger. 

Now I am dancing with the crowd in the arena. I am wearing a red dress. There are a lot of people but with space between them—not packed in like at a concert. No one else is wearing red and I know I stand out in the crowd. We are dancing away from the festival and out of the arena. There are numerous vendors, but I don’t recall any specifics.

The arena is part of a business compound with other buildings (possibly a welcome center and shop) between the arena and the road, all owned by the same family. I remember that an old school friend attended the festival in a previous year. 

I am supposed to drive home and pick up my younger sons James and Andrew so they can attend the event too, so I have to hurry. There is a downpour. A hard steady rain. I get wet but am relieved to think the festival will be cancelled and I don’t have to drive to pick up my sons and bring them back. Then the sky clears and I realize I still have to go get them.

I leave the venue. I’m in a car and there is an elderly man (I would say 80s or older) with me. He is tall w gray thinning hair. I have previously agreed to give him a ride home. I have a newer car, possibly silver, and have borrowed from someone (I think James). The elderly man insists on driving, saying he knows the way. We leave together.

The car is an automatic with a console shift. The man is shifting it like it is a standard, using all three forward gears. It is annoying. I tell him he doesn't have to shift like that, that he can just leave the car in Drive and he makes fun of that manner of driving. He is a bad driver in other ways too, having trouble handling the car in general. We go up a hill, left through a business district and then left again, going back in the direction we came from. We then pull into a gas station. 

I know we have come back close to where we started. I'm upset because I can actually see the venue, which is a short way down what appears to be a state highway. I am stressed about being late to pick up James and Andrew. Especially Andrew, who really wants to attend the event. I am stressed about the amount of driving (1 or 2 hours each way) I still have to do.

I point out the venue to the elderly man and tell him we have wasted an hour going in a circuit. He is unpleasant. We are out of the car. I tell him to take his things and get his own ride home. He has lots of stuff in the trunk of the car (shopping bags, containers, etc). I pile it all up on a bench. Then I see that he is having an issue with balance and cognition. I end up taking his arm to help him walk.

The man and his things are back in my car. I am at the edge of the gas station parking lot now trying to talk a group of people into taking the man where he needs to go. They seem judgmental about my lack of compassion for the elderly, but I feel if they knew him, they would think otherwise. A woman gracious woman with a southern accent is talking to the man sweetly, but after a while I sense she is getting exasperated too.

My Take Away

My Weaknesses

My Strengths

Outcome

I had three dreams about stone walls in 2024. While the dreams were far apart, I believe they were episodes in a single dream series. In a dream series, each dream is connected by a common but developing theme.

These dreams, or this series of dreams. began last year around Easter, so I decided to share the final dream now. You can find a link to the first two stone wall dreams at the bottom of this post.

The Dream Wall Dream

In the dream, I was at a house in my old neighborhood in suburban Michigan. The development changed a lot over the ten years we lived there but in this dream is was a lot like I remembered it in the beginning.

The homes were scattered across a large track of old growth forest. Most had large lots that were entirely wooded in the back and you could walk for a long way then without seeing any manmade structures at all.

I was in a part of the development near the home of a childhood friend. There were two houses. One belonged to an unnamed and unseen dream friend who was about to get married. I was inside a second house, very close by the first. Both houses were ranch-style homes.

I understood that the friend about to be married had dreamt a dream he felt was important. I knew that I needed to interpret it but I was not supposed to leave. This was a problem because there was someone I had to talk to about the interpretation. I had a sense that dream interpretation (or possibly seeing the person who would help with that interpretation) was actually illegal and I had to sneak out the back without being seen and walk quickly into the woods to find him.

It was winter, and the sky was gray, and the ground was covered with snow. The trees were just as I remembered them, tall and thin with bare black trunks. It felt like evening or maybe early morning and I set out in the direction I would have taken to our old house.

I saw that there was a wall built through the woods, or rather several adjoining walls because they were all different. I guessed that each wall was the back of a different property and, as is the case with houses, some were better maintained than others.

At one place, the wall was built out of crumbling cement blocks. It was quite low, but I could see that the wall for the next property was high and well built out of carefully laid fieldstone. There was a young man there who seemed to be a sort of guard or gatekeeper, and he confirmed that I was in the right place.

So I climbed over the low next door wall and cut over toward the house that went with the high, well-built wall.

The house was a mansion, and the occupant was renowned for his ability to interpret dreams. I was invited in. The interpreter of dreams was an older man sitting on the floor of a large, carpeted (possibly unfurnished) room. He was holding a mysterious scroll which he did not explain.

I told him about my friend's dream and shared my own awkward interpretation. I don't know if he provided feedback or additional insights. If he did, I can’t remember. And I don't remember my own interpretation or what the dream was about either.

The Synchronicities

I had the first and second wall and gate dreams around Easter of last year. Those dreams made me wonder if dream interpretation and the Catholic faith were compatible. The first and second dreams came at a difficult time when I was struggling with my writing and a group I belonged to then.

The third dream came when I was struggling to reconcile my faith with the Jungian perspective on dreams and consciousness.

A few days after the dream, I talked to our parish priest about my interest in dreamwork. He seemed to have a healthy interest in dreams and saw no harm in recording them or reflecting on them. He even shared a dream of his own.

When I got home from Mass that day I decided to listen to a Murray Stein video.

Murray Stein is the Jungian analyst who convinced me (via the This Jungian Life podcast) that Jung's approach to dreams was the right approach for me. What was especially interesting about the video I watched that day was that it mentioned that Murray Stein was a Christian.

Who would have thought?

Not me, certainly. But I couldn’t help feeling that there was a connection and that it all circled back to the dream.

The Dream Wall Revisited

I think it's relevant that I wanted to interpret a friend's dream (in dream 3) and felt that it was not allowed. I think this speaks to my uncertainty about the Church’s position on dream interpretation which was something that was on my mind at the time of all three stone wall dreams.

In the third dream, I had to sneak away to find the dream master. When I did, I encountered a wall. It was made of stone, just like the wall in the dreams I had at Easter 2024. It was not the same wall, but it was a similar sort of barrier. In dreams one and two the barrier stopped me. In dream three, it did not.

The wise old man and the mysterious scroll were important elements in dream three. The scroll may represent “learning, knowledge; the unfolding of life and knowledge; the scroll of…destiny.” To Christians it is “The Book of Life,” also associated with St. James the Great, Isaiah and the prophets. The Greeks considered the scroll to be an attribute of Aesculapius. The Egyptians associated it with knowledge. (Cooper, J.C.)

To me the old man and the scroll represent ancient knowledge and a mystical perspective. My own awkward interpretation of the dream reminds me that there is still a lot to learn.

The synchronicity of talking to my parish priest and learning that a Jungian analyst I greatly admire was Christian helped resolve much of the confusion I had with the first stone wall dreams. The priest’s open and accepting attitude was a sharp contrast to that of others I was dealing with at the time.

The Dream Series Theme

I am in a different place, now, than I was in 2024, and had to be, I think, to begin to understand the series as a whole.

The common elements were the walls themselves and the mysteries beyond them—the volkknot and illegible letters in dreams one and two and the unread scroll in dream three. The various walls in the third dream may represent different or incorrect approaches to the mystery.

Most importantly, I think the wall in each of these dreams represents the “passage from outer profane space to inner and sacred space; also symbolic of the sacred enclosure, which is both a protection and a limitation.” (Cooper, J.C.)

I was concerned about going through the door in the walls in dreams one and two. In the last dream I recognized that my concerns came from an external source (an expectation or law). Once I was in the forest I forgot these concerns and easily found a way around the high wall.

There is a lot that can be said about the elements in dream three—especially the mysterious dream master and the journey through the forest. To me, however, the theme is about barriers—both real and imagined—and how they may be overcome.

About Dream Series

Dream series are more common than a lot of people realize. I talk a bit about them in this video:

The Dream 

Context and Interpretation

Update July 2025

On the other hand, I lost hope and a dream saved me, and I feel called to tell that story.

The Spirit Dream Intro

In 2008, at the lowest point in my life, I had a dream I couldn’t explain.

Unlike the murky, sepia colored dreams I was used to, this dream was sharp and bright and saturated with color. A spectrum of blue, unlike anything I’d ever seen. Vivid reds. Shining white light. A beautiful woman with deep-water blue eyes, radiating love.

Filled with sparkling gemstones and mysterious beings, the dream told the story of a journey to and from an amazing location, and it told that story coherently.

As the woman in blue guided me from one dream experience to another, separate themes played out, like story-lines in a movie. When the dream finally ended, each loose end came together in a memorable and emotional conclusion.

I woke up convinced that my mysterious dream guide was someone special. I knew that the things that she showed me meant something. And even though I had no idea who she was or what she was trying to tell me, I was determined to find out.

This was the beginning of a spiritual journey that carried me through the New Age, in and out of Spiritualism and Wicca, halfway across the world, on pilgrimage to Israel, back to Christianity, through parapsychology, and onto the doorstep of Carl Gustav Jung.

And as I underwent this journey I would discover the person I was mean to be.

In the next chapter I talk about the life events that paved the way for the Spirit Dream. In chapter two I share the dream itself.

About the Video

Chatting about books, dream series, how dreams may explain each other and what's new on the Mystic Review. Also, a bit about Jungian Dream School and my plans for the channel in 2025. Happy New Year everyone! 

• My Newsletter: barbaragraver.substack.com/
• My YouTube: youtube.com/@MysticReview.com/ 
• Dream School: thisjungianlife.com/join-dream-school

The Project

I like online media because my neurodivergent brain can handle short articles and even shorter podcasts without a problem. Long-form writing is a challenge, but I was able to finish a short vampire novel this year, anyway, and have a sequel in the works. 

I feel good about those projects and there is no shortage of ideas for other books. 

The book idea I want to talk about in this post is a memoir about the dream I call the Spirit Dream and how it affected me. I don't really like the idea of writing a memoir, but I feel called to tell the story of the dream because of the difference it made in my life.

The Affect the Dream Had

I spent the entire decade before the Spirit Dream suffering one loss after another. The vision of a perfect family. My lovely home. The profession I had trained for. My extended family. My entire inheritance. My ability to write.

I wasn't diagnosed with autism then and didn't know that I was in deep autistic burnout, but I knew I'd given up. And then the dream came and changed it all. Not all at once, of course, but gradually.

My family regrouped. Finances improved. We moved into a new house that is much better than the in-between one. Those things probably would have happened, anyway. What wouldn't have happened was the life I now lead.

The Spirit Dream kicked off the spiritual journey that became the Mystic Review. It taught me things that mattered. It brought me back full-circle to the place I needed to be. Not the picture-perfect life I projected. My real life. The one that I was meant for.

It took over fifteen years to make that circuit and during that time, a lot of things happened. I went on some amazing spiritual adventures. I made and lost friends. I had other dreams that helped correct my course. I learned important things. I rediscovered my creative spark. And in the end, just this year, an unexpected synchronicity put it all into perspective. 

There are still more questions. Just like there will always be more to learn. But I'm ready to share what I have so far. 

Not my wisdom. Dream wisdom.

But that doesn't make the writing any easier.

How I Struggle with Writing

I have poor executive functioning and a lot of self doubt and when I hit the 10,000 word mark on any project, I start ripping thins apart. 

Which is part of the reason I started and restarted the Spirit Dream story at least five different times. Each version had a slightly different focus. One version was about faith, another was about autism, others were about me. And not a single one of those versions worked.

The issues were thematic AND structural, as my writing issues always are.

And then I started working with my dreams again and waking up in the middle of the night with words running through my head. The words came in phrases and paragraphs and pages—and one of the phrases was, "structure the book on the dream."

So I went back to the Spirit Dream and saw that I had divided it into five parts. This was something I'd done a long time ago to make it readable. Now it occurred to me that five parts might be a thing. And it was.

Sister Regina Kelly is probably shaking her head in heaven right now, but somehow I had forgotten Shakespeare and the five act structure.

The Spirit Dream, as I wrote it down that morning in 2008, had that structure. Baked in.

So what does all this mean?

The difference between a symbol and a sign according to the Jungians is that a sign communicates a single thing, while a symbol has many different meanings. Dreams are full of symbols. So it makes sense that I would get multiple insights from this most recent encounter with the Spirit Dream.

One insight has to do with theme and another has to do with structure. But the most important insight in my opinion is that is this is something I need to do.

As always, I will keep you posted <3

Of New Dreams and Old

Some symbols are universal. Others are personal. For me, circles are both.

When I have a dream that has a sphere, or a disk, or a looping path that brings me back to where I started, it always seems to mean something. So when a recent dream had a circular element, I paid attention.

And the more attention I paid, the more the structure of the dream reminded me of another, older dream—one whose full meaning has always eluded me. 

I had that dream in 2008 or maybe 2007. My life was at a low point and the future seemed bleak. And then there was the dream. A big magical dream. Brimming with color. Filled with mysterious symbols. Making me think that maybe God had remembered me.

I called it the Spirit Dream and, for the next ten years, I went from one metaphysical stopping point to the next, trying to make what I found fit. But it never did or, at least, never did for long. 

Then, a couple of months ago, I heard Murray Stein interviewed on This Jungian Life, and something he said absolutely fit. It fit so well in fact that it cast the Spirit Dream in an entirely new light. And in that light I saw that the dream wasn't really about a particular spiritual practice or deity or decision. It was about my inner life.

I didn't really know what to do with that, but I felt like I was supposed to do something. So I joined the This Jungian Life Dream School, applied to a Dream School dream group and got accepted. 

Then, I had another dream. The new dream wasn't as big or as beautiful as the old one, but it was still a dream about a journey, and I was still encountering things along the way. I felt that this new dream helped explain the Spirit Dream, or that maybe it picked up where the old dream left off.

The Journey by Bus Dream

In the first part of the dream, I have a boyfriend who is remodeling a house for me. I’m happy about this because I like him. He has a second house that he is also remodeling. My memory of the dream boyfriend is that he is a tall man and may have blond curls.

Someone has given me a metal disk. It is gold or brass. The back is gold colored. The front is red with a gold center. It seems important to me but I don’t know what it is or how I got it.

I am in the town I live in. I am going to my house to meet the boyfriend and some other people. I am driving north on North Main Street and miss the right turn up the hill. I’m stressed about being late and looking for a turn. 

Most of the side streets are one-way (the wrong way) and the only one that isn’t is very steep. I remember hearing a story about a city bus—which is what I’m driving—that went up the steep street and how all the passengers bounced right out of their seats when they hit the crest, so I keep on driving. This part of town is kind of run down.

I pass a roadside parking area on the right. The parking area is a small dirt lot that’s part of an old, abandoned motel. I remember that there used to be motorhomes for psychics there and that you could go there for a reading. I think there is still a sign advertising the psychics (in the dream). But now the psychic motorhomes are gone and all that’s parked there are various work trucks.

I reach the larger intersection (with a hard right) I’ve been looking for and see there is roadwork and traffic barricades in place. A man is directing traffic and I realize that the road I want to take (the hard right) is temporarily closed, so I turn left into a small thrift shop. I go into the thrift shop and see there is a big pile of journals for sale. 

I sit down on the floor and start to look through the journals and realize they are all mine and I have donated them to the shop. One has my writing in it and I think I should probably buy it so other people don’t read it but I buy another bigger (unwritten in) journal instead. I hear water running like a shower.

I go back out and see the roadwork is done. The man directing traffic is gone. I have to make a U turn which is a big wide swing and difficult to negotiate with the bus but I manage it. I am waiting for the light to change so I can go left up the sloping hill to my house. 

I start thinking about the boyfriend and realize that the second house he is remodeling is for him to live in. I feel okay about that, but I know we'll have to discuss it. I decide to tell him I’m autistic and that it’s good that we won’t live together because I don’t do well with live-in relationships, anyway. I’m relieved to realize that I have a way to explain myself.

From Point A to Point B

The Spirit Dream described a full round-trip journey to a mysterious location, while the new dream was nothing more than an ordinary drive from point A to point B. But, even though the drive was short, I passed things that seemed to have meaning.

The steep hill road. The abandoned psychic parking lot. The thrift store, full of old journals.

Three events. Just like there were three events in leg one (and leg two and three) of the Spirit Dream journey.

So I decided to submit the new dream to the dream group and see what they had to say, and I got some fascinating insights.

One member pointed out that the journal choice might represent a fresh start. Another said that the boyfriend who planned to maintain his own home might be an animus figure. Everyone was curious about the red and gold disk. The group connected the disk to amulets and to alchemy—and it seemed to me that this was the real key to both the new dream and the old one. 

I'd always thought that the color red in the Spirit Dream symbolized my own unevolved spiritual nature. Now I wondered if I'd got that wrong. Maybe red wasn't about failing or being at spiritual ground level. Maybe it was about transformation and the possibility of change.

But I wasn't sure if change was still possible. It had been a long time since the first dream—and there were parts of the second one that seemed to reflect some of the mistakes I had made. 

The lot where the psychics once parked reminded me of the various spiritual practices I'd tried and abandoned. 

The old journals made me think about the hundreds of thousands of words I have written here and elsewhere. Words which sometimes seem to have served no purpose whatsoever. 

The steep street seemed to reflect all the opportunities I had missed and all the things I'd thought I'd accomplish, but didn't.

But that wasn't where the A to B journey ended.

Instead, it ended when a road block was removed and I was able to correct my course. 

One really interesting things about the Journey by Bus dream was that it followed the actual layout of the town where I now live. So I know that the turn I was getting ready to make when the dream ended led to the same place as the steep hill road. 

Home.

Which makes me wonder if the Spirit Dream was ever about a mostly external spiritual journey. Or about writing my opus or discovering the truth with a capital T or doing any of other things I’ve imagined and then left undone.

Maybe the dream was really just about getting on with my life after I'd been laid low. Maybe it was about taking a chance when it felt like there wasn't one good thing left in universe. 

Or maybe not. 

Because, unlike signs, symbols point to a multitude of things.

Generously, my dream group has agreed to look at the Spirit Dream in our next session, and I'm curious to hear what they have to say. It is a very old dream but if I'm still dreaming about it I think it makes sense to look at it one more time.

____________

About the Video

The Podcast

The hosts are articulate and knowledgeable and so unexpectedly funny I found myself laughing out loud as I listened. More importantly, I feel I've already learned things from them. 

I have heard several episodes (including two on the shadow which were excellent) already but the episode I want to talk about in this post is called Unlock the Power of Symbols (video follows). The guest in this episode was Murray Stein, author of Jung's Map of the Soul: An Introduction (affiliate link) and I was so impressed with him that I bought his book the second the show was over.

When I was in my New Age phase I talked about synchronicities a lot even though I didn't really understand them and to be honest I'm not sure I understand them now. But when Stein quoted Jung as saying that a synchronicity is an act of creation in time I felt like I was being shown another, more theoretical perspective.

And an example followed.

The Spirit Dream

So there I was, doing the dishes and listening to the podcast and wishing I could ask Murray Stein to help me make sense of the Spirit Dream. I was thinking that I wouldn't even have to get him to take on the whole dream. I would just ask him to help me figure who the lady in blue was and why she seemed so important—and what was up with the whole color thing (read The Spirit Dream in full if you'd like more context). 

I have often thought that the spectrums of blues I was shown in the dream  exceeded anything I've ever seen witg ordinary waking vision. Sometimes I have wondered if there isn't something reminiscent of an NDE in that, but I've never been sure about any of it.

The interplay of red and blue in the Spirit Dream seemed significant to me from the start and I have always supposed that color was the key to the dream. 

Murray Stein

I was still thinking about these things and how nice it would be if Murray Stein could tell me about my dream, when he answered a question about the difference (or relationship) between a symbol and an archetype and said the following:

So there are archetypes and there are archetypal images... [and] Jung makes a very important distinction (you can read about this in a paper he wrote called the Nature of the Psyche in Volume 8 and I use that a lot in my book Jung's Map of the Soul).

He [Jung] lays out a spectrum [and] says the psyche is like a spectrum from ultraviolet to infrared.

On the infrared side it disappears through a psychoid membrane into the body, into physiological processes and there's an interplay between body and psyche—the psychosomatic interplay. The psyche can affect the body. The body can affect the psyche through that psychoid membrane.

He says on the other end of the spectrum there's the ultraviolet end of the spectrum that's blue—the psyche disappears again through a psychoid barrier or membrane into he says "what I can only call Spirit,.." and that's where the archetype exists.

And the archetype emits... [and] influences the psyche. The archetype influences the psyche by giving it images so when you have powerful images coming into your dreams, for instance, we call them archetypal images [or] Big Dreams that are related to mythology and fairy tales and all that.

The archetype... beyond the psyche in the... spiritual world is emitting some energy and it's coming into the psyche and then it takes the form of a couple of things: It can be an image or it can be a big idea [that] can be an inspiration, you know, suddenly [the] aha light goes on [and] you understand something.

So... the psyche disappearing into the spirit world on the one hand... [and] the psyche disappear[ing]     into the material world on the other hand... Now there's where Jung tried to tie that together—the material world and the spirit world—in his theory of synchronicity: Something happens in the material world and in the psychic world at the same time. It has meaning. 

It delivers meaning.

The Video

My Takeaway

Thanks to my recent Rhine Education Center course, Dreams and Altered States, I've been thinking about dreams and how they communicate information. This post shares some of my thoughts on the language of dreams. 

Information Sources 

As explained in our Dreams and Altered States course text, Psychic Dreaming, dreams reflect sensory, psychological or psychic input. Some examples follow. 

• Psychological input might be traced to the stress of the day or worries buried deep in our subconscious. This may lead to disturbing dreams or nightmares.
• Light or sound that bleeds into our sleeping awareness are examples of sensory input that can be incorporated into our dreams.
• Psychic input has an unidentified source that may be defined in different ways by different people. 

My Favorite Theory

In addition to different kinds of input, there are various theories about how information (as listed above) becomes a dream. 

Psychic Dreaming shared several such theories, but the one I liked best was that of neuroscientist J. Allen Hobson. According to Hobson: 

1. A stimulus or input (or information source) causes neurons to fire. 
2. The resulting neural impulses are translated into images. 
3. The subconscious mind makes the images into a narrative (dream). 

This process of creating a narrative is a lot like the process we use to make sense of information we receive when we're awake. But I find the idea that we do it in our sleep interesting.

Especially when it comes to psychic or spiritual dreams which I believe to be received.

Received Information

In one of his books or talks, biophysicist Rupert Sheldrake shares an analogy. 

Imagine that you know nothing of radios and that you assume that the sound is generated by the radio itself. To test your theory, you open the radio and remove some of the parts. When you see that the radio no longer functions, you may assume that you have understood how a radio works. But you would be wrong.

This, according to Sheldrake, is how many scientists approach the brain. And it is how a lot of them approach dreams as well. The parts do matter, obviously, but they are not the source of the message.

Some studies, such as those done with Faraday cages, indicate this analogy isn't valid for the communication of electromagnetic signals. (Though in my view, the mind is still a receiver in a way we don't yet understand.) 

In dreams the mind isn't just a receiver, however, it is also a translator—as Hobson theorizes and dream studies seem to suggest.

Dream Communication Studies

In 1962, American Society for Psychical Research (ASPR) researcher Montague Ullman opened a sleep laboratory at Maimonides Medical Center. Experiments used a sender and sleeping receiver. 

• The sender attempted to communicate an image. 
• Receivers were monitored via EEG in order to be awakened at the end of each REM and report their dreams. 
• Results were judged to be "hits" or "misses" with hits being statistically significant, indicating, that telepathy does in dreams. 

Survey studies by Louisa Rhine and others reinforce the Maimonides Dream Telepathy Study findings. According to these surveys, most (65% or higher) psychic experience happens in the dream state.

Of special interest to me was that, while the Maimonides Dream Telepathy study hits were obvious hits, they were almost never an exact replica of the original image. 

What This Means to Me

I have received to much evidential information in dreams to doubt that such communication is possible. I have also always known that we created the symbolism present in ordinary dreams. 

Psychic and spiritual, however, seemed different me and for most of my life I believed that they symbols they contained were directly communicated. This impacted the way I interpreated my dreams.

Now, thanks to what I learned in Dreams and Altered States, I feel that I'm looking at dreams in a more discerning way.

I wouldn’t go as far to say that dream images are never directly communicated, but it seems likely that w'e translating the information we receive most of the time. To me, it is not a closed system, but I am realizing that we play a much bigger part in our experiences than I imagined.

I will still use the same resources for dream interpretation (Christian / Catholic sources, cultural symbols, personal meaning and experience, etc). But the idea that the images themselves are (probably) my translations will definitely impact my dream work going forward.  

_____________________

Psychic Dreaming (affiliate link), written by our professor Loyd Auerbach, is available through Amazon and elsewhere. Please note: if you buy Psychic Dreaming via my Amazon affiliate link, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

To ask Professor Auerbach a question live on YouTube, check out his channel at YouTube.com/@AskProfessorParanormal

For more on about the Rhine Research Center and their wonderful online classes, please visit RhineOnline.org I am not taking Intro to Parapsychology and plan to share some of what I learn in an upcoming post.

The Dream Gate Dream

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream about a high ancient-looking stone wall. The wall was covered with vines and there was a recessed rustic plank gate or doorway. The overall effect was medieval and charming. 

It might have been dusk or overcast in the dream but I could see everything clearly. Just above the doorway, I saw a symbol that looked like a triquetra. I even exclaimed (in the dream) "that's a triquetra," except I actually said "trifecta," as in horse racing, because things get garbled for me in dreams. Either way, I was excited because I love all things Celtic, so I woke up in the middle of the night and recorded the dream (and drew the symbol) in my dream journal.

Earlier that month, I’d been told that ancient dreamers were always on the lookout for gateways in their dreams. Since my impression in the dream was that I was seeing a wall, not a building, I felt that what looked like a door to modern eyes was technically a gate.  

So I made myself go back to sleep and back into the dream. I found the door again easily and everything was the same—except that instead of the symbol above the door, there was a long narrow sign with lettering. 

Annoyingly, I find it hard to read in dreams and I couldn’t read the sign. I woke up again and wrote down the second dream and went back to sleep, but I didn't go back to the door, that night, or go through it. 

When I woke up the next morning I was thinking how nice it was that I dreamt about the triquetra which I remembered as representing the Trinity and the Welsh triads and other pleasant things. Then I looked at my dream journal and saw that the symbol I had drawn had three interlocking triangles instead of three loops. 

I was pretty sure I remembered the triangle symbol from a passing interest Germanic mythology. I thought it was probably Scandinavian and when I googled it, there it was. 

It was not a triquetra. It was a valknot.

No one is absolutely sure what the valknot symbolizes. Due to its presence on Old Norse funerary items, however, it has been associated with the dead. My thoughts on the dream in light of this particular symbol were that this door is closed and maybe it should stay closed. Or maybe not. 

One Gate, Two Perspectives?

And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. —Matthew 18:18

Then Holy Week came and I noticed another gate / doorway in the Icon of the Resurrection which is traditionally displayed in Eastern Christian churches at Easter.

The Icon of the Resurrection shows Jesus standing on the broken down gates of the netherworld as He pulls Adam and Eve from their tombs to freedom. You can also see King David, Moses, John the Baptist, and others. On the left below Jesus' and the fallen gates, you can see broken locks and the devil, bound. 

In other words, the Icon of the Ressurection shows Jesus going into the realm of the dead to release the captives.

And I couldn't help wondering if the Icon of the Resurrection gate and the dream gate were the same gates or different.

What Does This All Mean?

When it comes to dreams, the question is always the same. What does it mean?

And the truth is, I'm not sure. I'd had a tough week. Historically, several close family members have died in April, including my mother (April 15). Then there is the Passion, which is less brutal than it is hopeful but still pretty darned brutal overall. 

This year a family member was hospitalized on Holy Saturday with a serious illness and stayed in the hospital through Easter and into this week. Various small and not so small things went wrong. Some people were kind and others were not. Those who were not, as it turned out, were Catholic.

So I don't actually know if I'm ready to unpack this particular dream. But I have considered some of the questions it brought up for me. 

Should I go through that particular dream doorway?

Given the connection with the valknot and the icon and the fact that the gate was closed, I think not, or at least not yet. 

Am I divining by dreams?

Probably. 

To me, when the Bible talks about divining, the warning is specific to that time (not to listen to non-Jewish diviners in that particular era). This does NOT mean that warning can't extend to other times and places. But it has always been my sense that it predictive divination that causes problems. 

I do pay attention to my dreams, however, and what I do with them is a form of divination.

Should I keep working with my dreams?

I think so. 

Dreams can be tricky. Like many other life experiences, they can take us in the right direction or in the wrong one. But I believe they're given to us for a reason and that—as the Valkknot and the Icon of the Resurrection clearly shows—there is more than one perspective.

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