What Is Shared Death Experience? 

I heard famed near-death researcher Dr. Ray Moody speak on NDEs and shared death experience in 2015. But I didn't fully understand what a shared death experience was until I read Glimpses of Eternity (affiliate link) earlier this week.

A shared death experience occurs when a person takes part in the spiritual experience of someone who is dying. This experience can take many different forms. And Glimpses of Eternity does a great job of showcasing that.

Accounts of Shared Death Experience 

Dr. Moody didn't hear about shared death experience until after his ground-breaking book on near-death experience, Life After Life (affiliate link) was published in 1975. The shared death phenomena has been studied before however (as doctor Moody points out), going all the way back to the early days of the Society for Psychical Research.

The 19th century book Phantasms of the Living (affiliate link), written by two prominent members of the Society, includes multiple examples of what were once called deathbed visions. Several cases from Phantasms of the Living are included in Glimpses of Eternity.

Shared death experience has also been discussed by Melvin Morse. MD in his book Parting Visions (affiliate link).

Like most of Dr. Moody's books, Glimpses of Eternity, features a wealth of first-hand accounts. These accounts include full-fledged out of body NDE-type events, the observation of  unusual phenomena around the dying, extraordinary dreams and more. 

I enjoyed reading these reports and feel there is a lot that we can learn from them.

Elements of a Shared Death Experience

In Glimpses of Eternity. Dr Moody provides a list of features common to the shared death experience. He is also very clear in saying that shared death experience may include several or as few as one of these elements and that he is aware of no shared death experiences that includes them all.  

While most shared death experience occur in a waking state, Dr. Moody cites some that have occurred in dreams, including the 1988 shared death experience described by Melvin Morse. MD in Parting Visions.

The fact that some shared death experiences occur in dreams was of special interest to me because I once had an unusual dream about someone who was near death and then recovered. This dream included some of the elements Dr. Moody associates with shared death experience:

1. A change of geometry, where rooms either change shape or appear to open into another reality Dr. Moody describes as a "different and larger dimension."
2. A mystical light that Dr. Moody considers to one of the most profound features of a near-death experience. This light is often described as having substance. According to Dr. Moody it is "no ordinary light" but one that may lead to mystical experience and spiritual transformation. This light may fill the room, be observed in the eyes of the dying or in the translucent glow of the entire body of the person near death.
3. Music that has no physical source but can be heard by the dying and others present.
4. Co-living a life review similar to the type reported in a classic NDE except in this case the dying and healthy observer share the experience.
5. An out-of-body state which Dr. Moody describes as a "fairly common" element of a shared death experience. This element is cited in some of the most profound and NDE-like shared death reports.
6. Encountering unworldly or "heavenly" realms which may include a border or barrier. As with many NDEs this border may be a bridge, river or other boundary.
7. The appearance of a fine mist that may have a human shape and tendency to drift upward and disappear.

What Can Shared Death Experience Tell Us?

When I heard Dr. Moody speak, he was quite excited about shared death experience. This was because the shared death experience contradicts the main argument people make about NDEs. This argument--that an NDE is the product of a dying brain--cannot be applied to perfectly healthy people who share the experience of someone else's passing.

Some first-hand shared death experiences described in Glimpses of Eternity involve entire groups of (healthy) people. In these cases, members of the group perceived varied - though coherent - phenomena. One or two observers might perceive light or a vision of the departed, for example, while others only hear music or have a sense that something unusual is happening. This supports the idea that the shared death experience is telepathic in nature. 

Sometimes shared death experiences are predictive. At other times they announce that someone has died in another location. The fact that certain elements repeat from experience to experience is compelling.

The part of Glimpses of Eternity (affiliate link) that impressed me most, however, was the idea that shared and near-death experience may have played a part in the formation of religious beliefs about the afterlife. Noted individuals like Egyptologist Cyril Aldred, NDE researcher Kenneth Ring, PhD and Dr. Moody himself have all made this suggestion. To me, this makes sense. 

Instead of undermining religious belief, I think it supports it.

Please check back for future posts on dreams, mystical experience and more, including my upcoming video about my own experience!

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I’m not sure when the vision I called a "waking dream"* first started, but it came and went throughout my twenties and thirties. And it was always the same.

I would be fast asleep when an overwhelming fearfulness would shock me awake. When I opened my eyes, the dark shape was there, shapeless but malignant. Absolutely black against the lesser darkness of my room. 

I would scramble backwards in bed, pressing myself up against the headboard as if I could somehow push myself through the wall and into the next room.   

By then, I was completely awake. But the shape would remain, hovering ominously next to the ceiling. I would fumble for the lamp in a panic, but even after I got it on, the dark shape would persist for several agonizing moments before it dissolved slowly into the light.

My ex-husband never saw it. But other people did, including our upstairs tenant and a no-nonsense handyman who told me in all seriousness that our house was haunted. People in that house, and the one we would live in next, often felt like they were being watched, mechanical toys turned on on their own, electronics failed unexpectedly, and the clear sound of a woman laughing was heard by two individuals at the same time.

In both locations, my middle boy was subject to night terrors so extreme that he would wake up screaming. In the completely unretouched picture (above), you can see him, completely overshadowed by a hovering black shape.

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The Dream Gate Dream

A couple of weeks ago, I had a lucid dream about a high ancient-looking stone wall. The wall was covered with vines and there was a recessed rustic plank gate or doorway. The overall effect was medieval and charming. 

It might have been dusk or overcast in the dream but I could see everything clearly. Just above the doorway, I saw a symbol that looked like a triquetra. I even exclaimed (in the dream) "that's a triquetra," except I actually said "trifecta," as in horse racing, because things get garbled for me in dreams. Either way, I was excited because I love all things Celtic, so I woke up in the middle of the night and recorded the dream (and drew the symbol) in my dream journal.

Earlier that month, I’d been told that ancient dreamers were always on the lookout for gateways in their dreams. Since my impression in the dream was that I was seeing a wall, not a building, I felt that what looked like a door to modern eyes was technically a gate.  

So I made myself go back to sleep and back into the dream. I found the door again easily and everything was the same—except that instead of the symbol above the door, there was a long narrow sign with lettering. 

Annoyingly, I find it hard to read in dreams and I couldn’t read the sign. I woke up again and wrote down the second dream and went back to sleep, but I didn't go back to the door, that night, or go through it. 

When I woke up the next morning I was thinking how nice it was that I dreamt about the triquetra which I remembered as representing the Trinity and the Welsh triads and other pleasant things. Then I looked at my dream journal and saw that the symbol I had drawn had three interlocking triangles instead of three loops. 

I was pretty sure I remembered the triangle symbol from a passing interest Germanic mythology. I thought it was probably Scandinavian and when I googled it, there it was. 

It was not a triquetra. It was a valknot.

No one is absolutely sure what the valknot symbolizes. Due to its presence on Old Norse funerary items, however, it has been associated with the dead. My thoughts on the dream in light of this particular symbol were that this door is closed and maybe it should stay closed. Or maybe not. 

One Gate, Two Perspectives?

And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. —Matthew 18:18

Then Holy Week came and I noticed another gate / doorway in the Icon of the Resurrection which is traditionally displayed in Eastern Christian churches at Easter.

The Icon of the Resurrection shows Jesus standing on the broken down gates of the netherworld as He pulls Adam and Eve from their tombs to freedom. You can also see King David, Moses, John the Baptist, and others. On the left below Jesus' and the fallen gates, you can see broken locks and the devil, bound. This represents what Jesus did after the crucifixion when he defeated death and set the captives free.

Some of my most interesting spiritual dreams have been very hard to decipher. Some seem to be about various afterlife locations, so I can't help wondering if the gate I dreamt about was that kind of dream. I also couldn't help wondering if the Icon of the Resurrection portrayed a similar gate—or even the same one, from a different perspective.

Dreams have been many things to me—an inspiration for my creative work, an occasional window to psychic and / or spiritual experience, helpful reminders (both practically and relationally), and more. But this doesn't mean that I always fully understand them. And I'm not sure I understand the Dream Gate dream or the odd coincidence of seeing the Icon of the Resurrection for the very first time.

What Does This All Mean?

When it comes to dreams, the question is always the same. What does it mean?

And the truth is, I'm not sure. I'd had a tough week. Historically, several close family members have died in April, including my mother (April 15). Then there is the Passion, which is less brutal than it is hopeful but still pretty darned brutal overall. 

This year a family member was hospitalized on Holy Saturday with a serious illness and stayed in the hospital through Easter and into this week. Various small and not so small things went wrong. Some people were kind and others were not. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep.

So I don't actually know if I'm ready to unpack this particular dreams. But I have considered some of the questions it brought up for me. 

Should I go through that particular dream doorway?

Given the connection with the valknot and the icon and the fact that the gate was closed, I think not, or at least not yet. 

Am I divining by dreams?

Probably. But I do pray for guidance in dreams and I also pray to understand that guidance. I try to stay reasonably near to a state of grace and I believe that my guardian angel watches out for me. 

To me, when the Bible talks about divining, the warning is specific to that time (against listening to the gods worshipped by non-Jewish people in that particular era). This does NOT mean that warning can't extend to other times and places. I don't practice divination (tarot, pendulums, spirit communication, ouija etc.) because I feel (and the Church teaches) these things are modern day examples of things we should avoid. 

I do pay attention to my dreams, however, and what I do with them is a form of divination.

Should I keep working with my dreams?

I think so. The key for me is to be open to dream experience while staying within the broad parameters of my Catholic faith.

Dreams can be tricky. Like many other life experiences, they can take us in the right direction or in the wrong one. But I believe they're given to us for a reason and that—as the Icon of the Resurrection clearly shows—God is always in the mix.

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Please note: I use Catholic Christian symbols and sources in dream interpretation because that is my religious tradition. It's what I am familiar with. You may want to work with what's familiar to you.