Video Write Up 

I’m not sure when the vision I called a "waking dream"* first started, but it came and went throughout my twenties and thirties. And it was always the same.

I would be fast asleep when an overwhelming fearfulness would shock me awake. When I opened my eyes, the dark shape was there, shapeless but malignant. Absolutely black against the lesser darkness of my room. 

I would scramble backwards in bed, pressing myself up against the headboard as if I could somehow push myself through the wall and into the next room.   

By then, I was completely awake. But the shape would remain, hovering ominously next to the ceiling. I would fumble for the lamp in a panic, but even after I got it on, the dark shape would persist for several agonizing moments before it dissolved slowly into the light.

My ex-husband never saw it. But other people did, including our upstairs tenant and a no-nonsense handyman who told me in all seriousness that our house was haunted. People in that house, and the one we would live in next, often felt like they were being watched, mechanical toys turned on on their own, electronics failed unexpectedly, and the clear sound of a woman laughing was heard by two individuals at the same time.

In both locations, my middle boy was subject to night terrors so extreme that he would wake up screaming. In the completely unretouched picture (above), you can see him, completely overshadowed by a hovering black shape.

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The Dream Gate Dream

A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream about a high ancient-looking stone wall. The wall was covered with vines and there was a recessed rustic plank gate or doorway. The overall effect was medieval and charming. 

It might have been dusk or overcast in the dream but I could see everything clearly. Just above the doorway, I saw a symbol that looked like a triquetra. I even exclaimed (in the dream) "that's a triquetra," except I actually said "trifecta," as in horse racing, because things get garbled for me in dreams. Either way, I was excited because I love all things Celtic, so I woke up in the middle of the night and recorded the dream (and drew the symbol) in my dream journal.

Earlier that month, I’d been told that ancient dreamers were always on the lookout for gateways in their dreams. Since my impression in the dream was that I was seeing a wall, not a building, I felt that what looked like a door to modern eyes was technically a gate.  

So I made myself go back to sleep and back into the dream. I found the door again easily and everything was the same—except that instead of the symbol above the door, there was a long narrow sign with lettering. 

Annoyingly, I find it hard to read in dreams and I couldn’t read the sign. I woke up again and wrote down the second dream and went back to sleep, but I didn't go back to the door, that night, or go through it. 

When I woke up the next morning I was thinking how nice it was that I dreamt about the triquetra which I remembered as representing the Trinity and the Welsh triads and other pleasant things. Then I looked at my dream journal and saw that the symbol I had drawn had three interlocking triangles instead of three loops. 

I was pretty sure I remembered the triangle symbol from a passing interest Germanic mythology. I thought it was probably Scandinavian and when I googled it, there it was. 

It was not a triquetra. It was a valknot.

No one is absolutely sure what the valknot symbolizes. Due to its presence on Old Norse funerary items, however, it has been associated with the dead. My thoughts on the dream in light of this particular symbol were that this door is closed and maybe it should stay closed. Or maybe not. 

One Gate, Two Perspectives?

And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. —Matthew 18:18

Then Holy Week came and I noticed another gate / doorway in the Icon of the Resurrection which is traditionally displayed in Eastern Christian churches at Easter.

The Icon of the Resurrection shows Jesus standing on the broken down gates of the netherworld as He pulls Adam and Eve from their tombs to freedom. You can also see King David, Moses, John the Baptist, and others. On the left below Jesus' and the fallen gates, you can see broken locks and the devil, bound. 

In other words, the Icon of the Ressurection shows Jesus going into the realm of the dead to release the captives.

And I couldn't help wondering if the Icon of the Resurrection gate and the dream gate were the same gates or different.

What Does This All Mean?

When it comes to dreams, the question is always the same. What does it mean?

And the truth is, I'm not sure. I'd had a tough week. Historically, several close family members have died in April, including my mother (April 15). Then there is the Passion, which is less brutal than it is hopeful but still pretty darned brutal overall. 

This year a family member was hospitalized on Holy Saturday with a serious illness and stayed in the hospital through Easter and into this week. Various small and not so small things went wrong. Some people were kind and others were not. Those who were not, as it turned out, were Catholic.

So I don't actually know if I'm ready to unpack this particular dream. But I have considered some of the questions it brought up for me. 

Should I go through that particular dream doorway?

Given the connection with the valknot and the icon and the fact that the gate was closed, I think not, or at least not yet. 

Am I divining by dreams?

Probably. 

To me, when the Bible talks about divining, the warning is specific to that time (not to listen to non-Jewish diviners in that particular era). This does NOT mean that warning can't extend to other times and places. But it has always been my sense that it predictive divination that causes problems. 

I do pay attention to my dreams, however, and what I do with them is a form of divination.

Should I keep working with my dreams?

I think so. 

Dreams can be tricky. Like many other life experiences, they can take us in the right direction or in the wrong one. But I believe they're given to us for a reason and that—as the Valkknot and the Icon of the Resurrection clearly shows—there is more than one perspective.

See the Other Dreams in This Series:

• The Dream Wall (Dream 2)
• The Dream Vault (Dream 3)

What's Up Next on the Blog

Photo by Boston Public Library on Unsplash

The Dream

I had several dreams last night. The one I dreamt just before I woke up was a short dream about a beautiful green plain filled with white buffalo. Not a herd, but several (I don't remember how many exactly). The point of view of the dream was above the plain looking down. There was a voiceover saying, "they were looking out on a wide plain, but it was the white buffalo that held everyone's attention." 

Biblical Associations

When I look at a dream that I think may be spiritual, I turn to biblical and religious references first. I do this because I've read the Bible and am familiar with Christianity. So these elements tend to be part of my personal symbology. 

There are no buffalo in the Bible so I focused on the color white and the significance of a green plain. I immediately associated the green plain with the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm. To me, the 23rd Psalm is about trusting and following God.

My favorite verse about the color white is from Isaiah, so that was another easy association.

I then looked the color white up in Fr. Hardon's Modern Catholic Dictionary. (I have the print version but you can access the entire dictionary free online.)

There may be a lot of Bible passages for a single term, so I try to focus on those that have personal meaning to me and / or are coherent with other aspects of the dream.

While white is occasionally associated with symptoms of illness in the Bible, I don't feel that applied to this dream.

More often, white is used to describe angels, God and Jesus in the Bible. It is mentioned in connection with the transfiguration and the resurrection. There are so many references to the color white in Scripture that I can’t list them all here.

The four horses  mentioned in Revelation and in Ezekiel include a white horse. In Revelation, Jesus rides a white horse. The lamb of God who represents Jesus is white as is the countenance of the Ancient of Days.

The common denominator in all of this is that white is associated with the holiness. What's really interesting about this to me, is that the Indian meaning of the white buffalo is very similar. 

Native American Associations

I have an interest in the symbols and teachings of indigenous cultures. I knew the white buffalo was significant in Native American culture but I didn't know the details, so I decided to do some research.

I learned that there is a Lakota myth about the White Buffalo Calf woman who was a supernatural being who appeared to teach the people the seven rituals. All the rituals are fascinating but I found Wanáǧi Yuhápi or the Keeping of the Soul especially interesting.

There are prophetic ideas linked to the white buffalo as well:

This video tells the story of the White Buffalo Calf Woman:

General Associations

General associations include anything that occurs to me about the dream. It can have to do with plot, context, or symbolic meanings not previously explored.

The point of view in the dream was above, looking down. This, combined with the voiceover,   suggested an omniscient, or all-knowing narrator. A group of people were observing the white buffalo below and the buffalo were what held their attention. The unseen group thought the white buffalo were important.

Waking Context

To me, the waking context of the dream matters. This context could include related events that seem to be connected with the dream as well as any prayers or petitions that precede it.

People have practiced dream incubation from ancient times to the present day. The practice can be simple or involved. The way I usually approach dream incubation is through prayer. In this instance, I was praying for insight on my writing and learning about dreams. 

I have heard various priests say that we should just ignore our dreams and I understand why they have this opinion. But to me, Scripture and the early Church take a different view. In spite of that, I feel some conflict about working with my dreams.

Possible Meanings

Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash

Lecture and Meeting with Dr. Ray Moody  

I heard Dr. Ray Moody speak on the topic of near-death experience in 2014. Like many people in the audience, I had been influenced by Dr. Moody's first book, Life After Life, and  considered him an authority on near-death experience (a phrase coined by Moody himself).  

Written in 1975, Life After Life, is based on case studies of people who reported having had very similar, apparently spiritual experiences when very near death. The book became a runaway best-seller and near-death experience (or NDE) became a household word.

I found Dr. Moody to be a charming and articulate speaker. His presentation covered a range of NDE related topics which included history, philosophy and the nature of the NDE itself.  In this post I will touch upon some of them.

According to Dr. Moody, the common elements of the NDE included the experience of a hyper-reality which is largely indescribable, vivid color, a warm and loving light, the presence of deceased loved ones, a tunnel or passage, and a panoramic life review. In some NDEs a being of great compassion conducts the review and tells the individual that they must return to their former life. 

This was of special interest to me because I had experienced NDE like elements in my dreams. These included hyper-reality, ineffability, vivid color, beings of warmth and love, meetings with the departed and various passages (train tracks, board walks, halls). These were not NDEs obviously but I did receive information I hadn't known about before. In several such dreams in fact, I learned of the death of people I'd lost contact with through the dream.

While I was aware of some of the similatities between these dreams and NDE at the time, there was one connection I did not make then, but have only come to recently.

The Influence of Ancient Greece

When I asked Dr. Moody for book recommendations at the close of the lecture, he gave me the names of two books on necromancy, The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation and Greek and Roman Necromancy. Both of which I bought.

One thing that stood out to me about the lecture then was something Dr. Moody said about a life almost wholly devoted to the study of NDE . Everything I have done in life, he told us, is because of my interest in ancient Greece.  

Not faith. Not science. Greece.

At the time, I was just begiining to learn about Greek culture. So, I loved the fact that Dr. Moody and I shared the same interest.   

Years later, the fact that Dr. Moody had recommended books on Greek necromancy made me uneasy. I even recorded a podcast saying that I was suspicious of NDE, due in part to it's connection to necromancy.

But my views have charged. An NDE is not necromancy, or at least not necessarily, and I am interested in the phenomena. 

My Changing Perspective

For me, the most significant information given in Dr. Moody's lecture was something that didn't seem especially meaningful at the time: Dr. Moody's (then) current research interest in shared NDEs. 

A shared NDE is when one individual's near-death experience is psychically shared by a second person, oftentimes a friend or family member of the dying. 

I had a dream experience that may have some elements in common with a shared NDE and this is definitely something I want to look into. I will be talking about this dream and what I learn in a future video or podcast. 

Where I'm at Now

I have been writing about dreams, spirits and psychic phenomena for thirteen years now and my thinking has evolved. I no longer accept everything the way I did when I first started out but I don't discount things out of hand (as I did in the early days of my return to the Faith) either. 

I'm now very interested in the possible connection between NDE and psychic dreams. My most important dreams have NDE-like  elements. This is something I want to explore further. So I decided to begin taking courses at the Rhine Research Center in order to do that.

I have just started my first course but I plan to continue with the study of parapsychology and eventually get my certificate. The name of this course I'm  taking now is Dreams and Altered States of Consciousness which is absolutely perfect. Just like God's providence.

As always. I will keep you posted!

 Dr. Moody and Me

Dr. Ray Moody is a lovely, gracious man who has made an amazing contribution to our understanding of NDE and I am honored to have met him!

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies