I have always been sensitive to energy. And by energy, I don't mean energy in the material sense (as in thermal or electrical) I mean the invisible spiritual essence of things - a quality more easily sensed than defined.
This kind of energy, while frequently subtle, is not always so. Some people, I am sure, sense the energy of everything they approach, while others seems oblivious to the strongest of influences. I fall in between but well toward the sensitive end of the spectrum.
I sense the energy of the living (and sometimes the dead) as well as most spaces to varying degrees. Positive places such as forests, gardens, sanctuaries, libraries and certain homes affect me strongly. Their resonant energies have a fine but palpable vibration which speaks to me spiritually, emotionally and even physically in a language which is not far removed from that of music.
Negative spaces and people affect me in a very different way. Generally speaking I find that dirty, cluttered areas, large groups of people, some small groups, institutions, anger, resentments and general negativity cause variable but almost always unpleasant reactions in me. And it seems that I am getting more instead of less sensitive to this type of dissonance.
Case in point, my trip to the New York and New Jersey on Sunday. Our first stop was The Journey Within Spiritualist Church where we enjoyed a beautiful service, spiritual healing and a compelling display of mediumship. The sanctuary there has a clear light energy which left me feeling energetic and positive.
We then traveled into the city, had lunch at a wonderful vegan Chinese restaurant and spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the many beautiful medieval exhibits as The Cloisters Museum (pictured above and below). There were a fair amount of people around all day but I held up well until the way back, when halfway through the city, the energy clobbered me.
All at once, I was exhausted. Bone tired. And more than a little demoralized. Even though my daily at home to do list is far more demanding on multiple levels. Today, back in Northeast PA, I got hit again as I spent the afternoon trying to work my way through the mess left behind after moving out of our old house. By the time I got home, I felt nauseous, jangly and very discouraged.
I did a cleansing visualization John Edward recommends in his wonderful CD Unleashing Your Psychic Potential as I showered and felt better after. Not good enough to navigate around one or two family and relationship issues as well as I should have, but better.
I am disappointed in myself for not handling things better on a personal level but I also acknowledge how difficult all of this can be. Something I did not do back when I was trying to be as oblivious to all of this as everyone else apparently was!
Dealing with all of the energies and pressures of everyday life can be overwhelming and is sometimes particularly so for those of us who are sensitive by nature. Some can be avoided and I, for one, intend to think long and hard about any future trips to NYC. Clearing work is important. And so is acknowledging and honoring who we are and what we are capable of.
Tonight I am going to listen to ambient music, read The Life Beyond the Veil, have herbal tea, go to bed early, wake up early, do yoga, walk in the woods and have a much better day.