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| Photo by Robert Woeger on Unsplash |
The Dream
I go to a lake and see a white swan. I like it so much that I pick it up and take it home. It is hauntingly beautiful, with bright, white feathers. At one point it looks at me, turning its neck in an odd, angular but graceful, way and I see its eyes are not really like animal eyes. Instead they appear human. I can't remember the color but they seem unusually beautiful and expressive.
I decide to keep the swan in my room because I know my family won't approve of it being brought into the house. I let it sleep next to me in bed and it is warm and I take comfort in knowing it's there. At one point in the dream I am telling someone about the swan and how it was not like other swans, that even its feathers were soft like fur, and how wonderful it was.
Later in the dream, I'm sitting in my room on my bed with the swan and I notice it is surrounded by tarot cards. It picks up the cards one by one in its beak and lay them out for a reading. In the dream, I am fascinated instead of surprised. I see some pentacles and the death card. My dog, Luna, is in the room (in real life and also in the dream). In the dream she starts growling and barking at the swan.
Context and Interpretation
This is an older dream that I just decided to publish. I wrote this section at the time of the dream and will add a couple of comments at the end of this post.
While I do believe that certain dreams can be prophetic, to me, the most common purpose of dreams is to help us better understand ourselves and situations we may be facing. I think that dreams can address spiritual dreams without being in any way prophetic.
Spiritual elements in the swan dream included the tarot card piece coupled with the unusual beauty of the swan. I tend to look outside my own personal experience for dreams like this especially when I don't have any real experience with a particular element.
In this case, I don't have any waking experience with swans aside from really liking a bas-relief I saw once of Leda and the swan and couldn't find again. While I love Keats, his poem about Leda and the Swan never really spoke to me.
My favorite book on symbols did have something interesting to say, however:
Combining the two elements of air and water, the swan is the bird of life: the dawn of day... It also symbolizes solitude and retreat and is the bird of the poet; its dying song is the poet's song... ~ An Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Traditional Symbols by J.C. Copper
I do have a lot of experience with tarot and used to read professionally. I have been thinking about using tarot again for personal insight and reflection. I have been worried about getting pulled back into predictive reading, however, which I would like to avoid.
My dog Luna is my best friend in the world and I feel she was being protective in this dream. I don't think that necessarily means there is anything dangerous about the swan or tarot, however, because Luna is a barker and too protective of me at times. She also extremely aware of my moods. So I take her behavior as being more about inner conflict than an actual threat.
I actually think that this dream is more about writing than it is about tarot, because that has also been something very much on mind as I get older. I love blogging but I really would like to finish and publish a book. Possible my swan song.
The fact that Keats wrote a poem on this topic, is interesting. While I don't love that particular poem, I don't love a lot of my own work either. On some level the the swan may referring to poetry or possibly poetic writing.
In it's highest application, I think of tarot as a tool for person insight. So I'll consider what insight might be relevant to my writing. According to J.C. Cooper, tarot may represent esoteric insight. That's interesting to me because I've been conflicted over just how much metaphysical content I should include in a current project.
Update July 2025
When I first wrote this interpretation I was still looking to associate every dream to some actionable thing in my waking life. Now, as I learn about Jung, I'm more inclined to look at inner states.
I do use tarot now, not predictively, but as an aid to active imagination--though I don't spend as much time with it, or with any form of inner work, really, as I would like.
I was still conflicted about card reading when I had this dream and I think that shows. I was secretive in the dream and a little put-off when the swan began its reading. Luna who may be a bit of dreamwalker :) was there for that reason.
But it is a powerful, probably even an archetypal dream and I think the association between the swan, tarot reading and Death, the card of transformation call for further investigation. I am especially interested in Greek mythology in the wake of another more recent dream.
I'll be sharing more on all of this in my next post!
I've gone back and forth on the topic of writing my memoir a lot. On one hand, it seems completely ridiculous for an ordinary person who has not achieved anything unusual in life to write a memoir.
On the other hand, I lost hope and a dream saved me, and I feel called to tell that story.
UDATE 1/9/2026: Please note that this is my original intro. Writing the memoir has been a process and I've gained clarity on the project as I worked on it. It isn't a strictly a spiritual memoir anymore, though there is still a lot of spiritual content.
Here is the new blurb:
📖 Blurb | I was always different. Sensitive. Passionate. Clueless. People didn’t understand me, and I didn't understand myself. I made mistake after mistake. I turned myself inside out trying to live a life that didn’t suit me. When that life imploded, an unusual dream set me on a spiritual path. But the spiritual systems and traditions that worked for others never worked for me. Finally, I found out why. The Spirit Dream is the story of my journey to a late-diagnosis of autism and ADHD, and the dreams, synchronicities, and creative processes that guided me.The Spirit Dream Excerpt
In 2008, at the lowest point in my life, I had a dream I couldn’t explain.
Unlike the murky, sepia colored dreams I was used to, this dream was sharp and bright and saturated with color. A spectrum of blue, unlike anything I’d ever seen. Vivid reds. Shining white light. A beautiful woman with deep-water blue eyes, radiating love.
Filled with sparkling gemstones and mysterious beings, the dream told the story of a journey to and from an amazing location, and it told that story coherently.
As the woman in blue guided me from one dream experience to another, separate themes played out, like story-lines in a movie. When the dream finally ended, each loose end came together in a memorable and emotional conclusion.
I woke up convinced that my mysterious dream guide was someone special. I knew that the things that she showed me meant something. And even though I had no idea who she was or what she was trying to tell me, I was determined to find out.
This was the beginning of a spiritual journey that carried me through the New Age, in and out of Spiritualism and Wicca, halfway across the world, on pilgrimage to Israel, back to Christianity, through parapsychology, and onto the doorstep of Carl Gustav Jung.
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You can read the Spirit Dream here: The Spirit Dream

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