Today on the equinox, day and night are equal.  But that isn't going to last.  The days are getting shorter.  Winter is on its way.  Today I saw a hawk flying in the most vivid of blue skies.  Two crows called - a winter sound if I ever heard one.  Life is always moving.  Always on its way to something else.  But there is something to be said for the moment, even as it passes. 

Today I realized that I always think of autumn in the context of a world on its way to winter.  For me that is not a bad thing - at least not entirely.  Winter is an uncomfortable season here in Northeastern PA but it is a beautiful one as well and it has a depth to it that other seasons lack.  Still this time, this season should be important in its own right and I should honor it as such.

So today I sat out side and thought about the turning trees, the falling leaves, the woodland debris on its way to becoming earth.  Summer seeding the land in a different sort of way.  Not sprouting but preparing.  Today the sky was blue and the sun was bright and I sat outside with my journal and mapped out a new course. 

This course includes more time out of doors and I intend to honor that commitment through the cold months and into spring.  As always I will blog about it <3

For...  [the poet] there is no other woman but Cerridwen and he desires one thing above all else in the world: her love... Other women, other goddesses, are kinder-seeming. They sell their love at a reasonable rate—sometimes…for the asking. But not Cerridwen: for with her love goes wisdom.~ Robert Graves, The White Goddess

I have been think about Spirit Circle, feeling that mediumship isn't really for me. It's not about it being wrong or anything like that. It's just a lot of responsibility. People come for medium reading for different reasons. Some are just curious. Others are on the edge of despair, desperate to believe they will see a lost loved one again. To me, this is a heavy burden on reader. 

I don't know if I want to continue with the circle at this point or not. I've made friends there, and I like going which complicates things. So, I asked for guidance in a dream. 

I had the following dream a few days later. I'm not sure what it says about Spirit Circle, to be honest, but I feel that it's pulling me to something new:

I am standing on the edge of the dream which had come before wondering if this new dream belonged to me or if someone else was dreaming it instead. Immediately before me, a beautiful woman with long curling, light auburn hair is rising slowly and majestically into the air.    

I see flowers and vines and tiny newborn pigs and sparkling drops of what I know to be milk spinning slowly around her. The drops of milk brighten until the shine like stars in the great drifting vortex of animals and vegetation.  I am now suddenly quite close to woman, as if she is no longer above me, and I see each detail of this amazing train of life float past me, with a delicate, hyperreal beauty.

The tiny pigs are pink and tender.  The flowers are colorful and detailed and incredibly vivid.   The small traveling stars shine.  I was in awe of what I am seeing but I am also quite clear.  This is no ordinary woman.  This is a goddess.

It's a wonderful moment.  And then my modern sensibilities kick in.  I find the tiny newborn pigs disconcerting and the milk seems odd and out of place.   'Why pigs?" I asked myself, and then I began to wake up. 

Abruptly, right at the edge of awakening, a white sow's head  flashes across this oddly beautiful scene. She isn't pretty but, like every else in the dream, the detail was remarkable.  I see coarse hair, a single wild eye, a smudge of dirt.   

And then I am awake. 

I was embarrassed by the dream and didn't want to share it. I didn't even actually want to think about it. So I spent three days trying to ignore it. But it stays with.  It is too beautiful, too vivid, too bright.  And I know what dreams with that kind color and light always mean. I know it's a spiritual dream. Disconcerting or not. 

So I decided to write about it.  

UPDATE OCTOBER 2014: I did some reading about pigs and goddesses. At first I was drawn to the tales of Britain. I imagined the goddess traveling from Sumer to Egypt to land of the Kelts though there is no clear indication that's what happened. I read about the cult of the white sow goddess, Cerridwen and the flame-keeper known as Brigid. I learned that Brigid is associated with milk and a magical boar.

Inspired by their Goddess, the Keltic bards drank the fire of inspiration from the sacred cauldrons and called themselves her sons.

I learned that the sow was associated with the Egyptian goddess Nut and sometimes with Isis and would resurface centuries later in the ancient Greek worship of Demeter and Persephone. I read an article suggesting that Israelite sanction against pork was related to the worship of Asarte, who was once called Ishtar. I couldn't find any direct link to Asarte but I read a Bible Hub commentary saying that it was true that the pig was associated with idolatry. 

I still wasn't comfortable with the imagery, but when I thought about the way the word sow or pig has been used against women over the centuries or probably the millennia, I saw my reaction in a different light. 

Most importantly, I knew that without that detail - a detail so significant that it impressed upon my mind a second time as I began to wake up - the real meaning of the dream would have been lost or forgotten and I would have never connected the dots.

I'm currently taking a fascinating course on Astral Projection (Astral Projection Practical Intensive) and wanted to share a bit on my progress.  We are currently in Session 3 and, while I have not projected as of yet, I do feel I'm progressing. 

The course is given by OBE expert Robert Bruce.  It utilizes Robert ebook (free on his site at AstralDynamics.com) as well as the Hemi-Sync astral projection meditation CDs/MP3s produced by Robert Monroe.  Each session begins with several videos, as well as some text and recommended reading on the new material, and assigns a new and very specific level of astral practice.

All practices include daily energy work followed by the Hemi-Sync Meditation.  I am now using the second (or condition A) MP3 meditation and have been having some interesting experiences.  These include lots of tingling sensations, occasional feelings of expansion, and a few visions.  The visions have been interesting because they have been consistent.  I have seen archways, tunnels, roads, paths and a kind of moving tunnel where it appeared that I was rocketing through space with energy streaming by on either side.

My current challenge is that I'm going very deep in trance with the meditations and losing my awareness at times - though I don't really feel like I'm falling asleep. Yesterday I lost awareness and then became aware of being around people - which made me feel that I was dreaming.  In the dream, I was yelling "I want to fly" over and over. :) I did used to fly in dreams but haven't done so for some time.  Seems I might have missed it.

I feel very alert when I come back from these episodes of lost awareness (or checking / clicking out), not sleepy at all.  What worried me was the memory loss. I was concerned that I might be missing actual OBE activity or rather failing to remember it.  Robert believes we all astral project in dreams (for more on Robert's teachings please check out his interview on this topic here Astral Projection with Robert Bruce - affiliate link) and that the real challenge is to remember it.  

One of the great things about this course (and all the Glide Wing courses) is the forum component.  In it the instructor responds to questions on the material.  In a course like this is incredibly helpful.  Because of my concerns, I posted my problem with awareness  in the forum.

Robert got back to me immediately.  He said that these were good signs and that success should not be too far away.  He also recommended several things which I'm going to put into effect today.  They include:

Robert also has been encouraging me to utilize daily affirmations which he believes in whole-heatedly (more on that in the interview).  This isn't hard because I really do believe that I will successfully project provided I stick with it.  

I am getting so much out of this course!  I am also thrilled that when it ends I can be part of Robert's free community (Astral Dynamics Forum) and receive the support of others.  There is even a new special area for graduates of the course which I am really looking forward to joining!