A Dream About Me?

Writing My Testimony

June 2022 update:  I have been waffling about writing my testimony for a long time.  Odds are, I was praying about it around the time I had this dream.  But I didn't see the connection until now.

The Dream

A contractor I apparently knew had told me about a volunteer opportunity.  He said that there was a woman living in a house that was in bad condition and that he, and some others, had been trying to help her.  So I went to see what I could do.

The house was unpleasant.  Not deplorable necessarily but ugly.  I was in the kitchen and the young woman I was supposed to help was complaining.  There were numerous problems with the property.  I remember that there was a 1980s style drop ceiling and some of the tiles were coming down.  Everything seemed flimsy and cheap.  

I didn't enjoy talking to the woman.  She was loud and obviously immature.  She was younger than me. I didn't have a strong sense of her age but she acted like an adolescent or even a pre-adolescent.  I tried to be charitable but I found her very irritating.  It seemed that she was renting and she was very unhappy with her landlady who was neglecting the property.

A little while later, I was at a dinner being held in the woman's honor.  We were seated at a long table under an old aluminum carport next to the house.  I was at the far end of the table.  I had reconnected with an old friend.  In real life, our friendship ended years ago but I've regretted that.  In the dream, I was happy to reconnect with her and eager to catch up.  She looked young and successful, just as I remembered her.

Annoyingly, the guest of honor kept demanding my attention from her end of the table.  She had written several different documents and was insisting I read them aloud.  Someone brought them to me. It was a hodgepodge of old newspaper clippings and pictures and handwritten papers.

I did not want to be bothered with the woman or her requests and kept saying that I didn't want to read what she had written.  I was angry with her for interrupting and insisting I read.  I felt that she was demanding attention she didn't deserve even though the dinner was being held in her honor.

My Take

When I woke up, I was still a little annoyed.  But then it occurred to me that the immature, attention seeking woman might be that part of myself who I don't want to acknowledge - here in this blog or anywhere.  My feelings toward her are so negative that blogging about the dream is unpleasant.

But there is something about all of this that is demanding my attention. 

I don't think it was any coincidence that I felt so much negativity toward the woman in the dream.  Other people apparently realized she needed help but, to me, she didn't deserve it.  I wanted to be left alone with my successful friend instead.  

Whether the dream was a message from God or a message from my subconscious is debatable.  But I do feel that it's significant.

Looking at the Symbolism

I believe that God can talk to us through dreams but I do absolutely accept that most dreams are the product of our subconscious imagination.  Probably that's the most likely thing with this dream.  But still think that it's a dream that matters.  So I wanted to share some of the potentially symbolic meaning I found.

• The charitable contractor > charitable carpenter > Divine influence?
• Young woman > my inner self, my authentic self
• House the young woman lived in > her self, her reality, my inner reality
• Cheap, run down and flimsy state of the house > disregard for self, ignoring self, neglect
• Woman mentioned as being part owner of house > my executive functioning self
• My successful friend > what I aspire to but feel I can never be > feeling inferior, different
• The dinner in honor of the young woman > the idea that others may care
• My very irritated attitude toward the young woman > disliking and disregarding who I really am
• Wanting the young woman to leave me alone > ignoring my problems
• The material she wanted me to read > her story > my history 

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June 2022 update: I also think this dream is about me writing my testimony.  I'm  realizing that while I want to write about my journey back to the faith, I want to talk about dreams and the role they played, too.

Please note: I don't think that anyone should ever base any decision purely on a dream.  But I do think that dreams can tell us things about ourselves we might not realize otherwise.  Very occasionally, I think that our guardian angel or departed loved ones can reach out to us through dreams.